Fun Factory Share Review

~I received this item for free in exchange for an honest review.~Share review

I confess that before this point I did not own a double ended dildo that was meant to be shared between two people.  I’ve had dildos that were double ended, like the Pure Wand, but those are made for just one person.  Enter the Share.

A little bit about it: The Fun Factory Share is a double ended dildo designed for any sex you would generally do with a strap-on.  Essentially, it’s a strapless strap-on.  The shorter end is inserted in a vagina, and the longer end is inserted into…well, I mean, wherever or whoever it’s getting inserted (anus, another vagina, mouth, etc.).

The Share also comes with a rechargeable bullet vibe that is much larger in circumference than most standard bullets.  It vibrates the whole toy, including the hump at the base of the toy that is supposed to sit on the clitoris.

What I loved: The best attribute is that the Share is mildly flexible.  When it’s inserted in me, the longer end points almost straight up along my belly, but when it’s pulled down to a more horizontal position, the bulb inside my vagina hits against my G-spot.  When we tried using it with me lying on my back and him riding me, it pulled the longer end of the toy back, which pulled the vaginal bulb against my front wall.  The end result was every time he moved, the toy moved inside me against my G-spot and caused us both to be able to orgasm.  So, that’s pretty awesome, and my absolute favorite aspect of the Share.

I like that the bullet vibe is rechargeable.  Not only that, but he reports that the vibration of the shaft makes insertion easier and more comfortable.  Having used anal toys that vibrate, I have to agree.

What I didn’t: At first I was worried something was seriously wrong with me, or more accurately, my vaginal muscles, because I had quite a bit of trouble getting the toy to stay inside me.  Trying to use it for penetrative sex?  Extremely difficult.  It kept falling out.  I talked with Ruby Ryder of Pegging Paradise, who knows waaaaay more about pegging toys than I do.  We talked about the problem with strapless strap-ons, but specifically that most strapless ones are difficult to keep in place without a harness under the best of situations, and using for pegging without using a compatible harness to keep it in place is pretty much impossible.  Apparently, when you pit a woman’s Kegel muscles against anal muscles, the anal muscles are, generally speaking, going to win.  So, unfortunately, unless we are doing oral play, I couldn’t keep it in place.  I had to use a harness with it, which is what I was trying to avoid having to do in the first place.

Moving on, let’s talk about the bullet vibe.  It’s rechargeable, which is nice, but it’s much bigger around than normal bullets, and that’s a big problem.  You see, the vibrations from the bullet are very buzzy instead of rumbly, and not even really strong enough to reach my clitoris with enough oomph to even come within the general vicinity of clitoral orgasm.  And, since the bullet hole is unusually large to accommodate the large bullet, you can’t switch it out with a better bullet.

Final thought: I’m kind of on the fence with what to think here.  On one hand, even though my Kegel muscles aren’t particularly weak, it’s very difficult to keep the Share in place.  But, when he rides me, the slight flexibility causes the interior bulb to hit my G-spot, and the vibration, although not awesome on my end, makes penetration more comfortable for him.

At nearly $130, I’m going to hesitantly say the Fun Factory Share is worth it.  The toy itself is nice and will last a long, long time, but you can’t replace the bullet.  I’d say go for it if you keep in mind that you will likely have to spring for a harness as well.

Thanks to Shevibe for letting me review the Share!
shevibelogo

~I received this item for free in exchange for an honest review.~

Depression Lies

Note: This is about me and my journey.  Although it turns out that many of my emotional issues came from a previously undiagnosed physical ailment, I do recognize that many people struggle with mental health that does not stem from a physical problem.

The phrase “depression lies” has been used over and over to the point where it’s almost become a meme, and that’s not a bad thing, because it’s true.  Depression does lie.  Sometimes it lies in whispers.  Sometimes it screams.  But it does lie.

I’ve struggled with depression and anxiety from a young age.  I remember telling my parents how sick I felt, and how often.  Sometimes it was daily.  They responded with annoyance, insinuated that I might be doing it on purpose, that I was faking, or that I just didn’t want to go to school.  I was possibly even doing it to annoy them, or make life harder for them.  It wasn’t unusual for them to get angry.  They had never heard of a panic attack, or knew what it looked like.  During this time I was getting bullied at school.  I don’t mean the mildly antagonistic bullying, the whole kids-can-be-cruel saying stupid shit bullying, I mean there were guys much bigger than me that would make it a point to seek me out and make my life hell.  Why?  I had never done anything to them.  Barely spoke to them.  And they almost always did it in groups while I was alone, and it was fucking terrifying.  From this time I learned that when I wore a happy mask, things were easier.  I didn’t get picked on as often.  My parents no longer hinted at the idea that I was making things difficult for them on purpose.

Several years later, I remember telling my mom when I was a teen that I was pretty sure I was suffering from depression.  She looked at me with outright skepticism, laughed, and said, “Depressed?  YOU???”  I had worn my happy mask so often and so well, people thought it was my reality.  It wasn’t.

A few years later, I gave birth to my first child.  And postpartum depression hit, and I mean hit hard.  I felt like I couldn’t bond with my child, couldn’t do anything right.  Everything seemed useless, hopeless.  I hated my family and I hated myself.  When I finally healed, looking back I didn’t recognize the person I was then.  And although I did get over PPD, I continued to have intermittent cycles of sadness, like I always had.

I sat with a long-time, very good friend one day, and we talked about our youths and childhoods.  I started to tell him some of the things I had experienced and started crying.  “I’m 33! It shouldn’t bother me what I experienced 15, 20, 25 years ago!” I said.  But these are the things I carried with me.  What made me feel less valuable.  And when the sadness came, sometimes I knew what I was sad about.  Sometimes I didn’t.  Sometimes I struggled to maintain a positive mood.  I had good days, I had less good days, but for the most part it was merely a low-level, minor annoyance.  A slight downturn in my mood on occasion, or remembering something hurtful someone said.  Manageable.  A change in scenery, a piece of chocolate, visiting with a friend usually had a positive effect, and I would wait it out.  I would get better.  I didn’t need to do anything else.  I put on a happy face and muddled through until I felt better.

As time went on, my sad cycles became fewer, farther apart, and not nearly has hard to deal with.  I had made some lifestyle changes that brought out better sides of me, and for the most part I was feeling better.  When the sadness came, it was rarer, and short-lived.  In general I felt happy, at peace, loved, alive.  Everything was finally OK.  When the next sadness cycle came, I barely noticed it.

Except this time I didn’t get better.  The cycle did not end.  As the days went on I got worse.  My moods ranged from sad, to very, very deep depression, to anger.  The best mood I had was lethargy.  My low-level sadness that sort of comes and goes had turned into a monstrous thing that was always with me.  I cried.  A lot.  I cried for days on end.  Every small thing upset me.  Everything seemed enormous.  Instead of knowing the blue feeling will come to an end, I felt like the world itself was ending.  Usually when I was feeling down, my depression would merely whisper covert things like, “Are you sure this is the right thing to do?  I don’t think you know what you’re doing.  Don’t you usually fuck this up?”

This time, though, the lies it told were much different, and it screamed them.  If I had to change plans I made with people, I felt like I was messing up everyone else’s life.  I felt unloved, unwanted.  I felt unworthy of anything.  I stopped blogging except for the posts I knew I was under obligation to do.  I stopped crafting.  I just wasn’t interested any more.  With the exception of one person outside of my immediate family, I stopped talking.

Husband was sitting next to me when one of my best friends called me to check on me.

“I’m fine,” I said.  “Just tired.”

“OK, well, you get some rest, then!” she said cheerily.

I hung up.  Husband looked at me accusingly.  “You just lied through your teeth to one of your oldest friends.”

“Yes, I did.”  I lied because I didn’t feel worthy of being a bother to her, or anyone.  I knew no one would like me if they felt they had to put up with my issues, and I would be alone.

Because depression fucking lies.

A few days later another good friend sent me a sweet text about loving that I’m in her life, and I cried.  Hard.  I showed Husband the text, and he read it and replied, “This makes you cry?  I don’t understand.  How does this make you sad?  I DON’T UNDERSTAND.”  It made me sad because I didn’t feel deserving.  Like one day she would wake up and realize that I am, in fact, a complete bitch, and then she’d be gone.  Because I am a horrible person.  Because I am completely replaceable.

And because again, well, depression lies.

Underneath all of this, there was a very tiny voice.  Something deep down that whispered quieter than everything else.  “Something has gone wrong.”  And over all the noise, all the sadness, all the despair, through all the doom and gloom screaming about how unlovable, unlikable, unwantable I am, I heard it.  This wasn’t PMS (which emotionally speaking, has always been really hard for me, especially having mennorrhagia).  This wasn’t struggling to put old hurts to bed.  This wasn’t some mild depression or a case of the blues.  This was something new.  Something big.  Something bad.  Something worse than I had previously experienced.  And the part of my brain that was still functioning on logic recognized it.  “Something has gone wrong.”

As time went on, I got progressively worse.  My mood shifts came faster.  I cried longer, harder.  I felt like a bad parent, bad wife, bad friend, bad person.  I had trouble even regulating my temperature.  I was sweating one minute, freezing the next.  I was always tired, always so flat out exhausted.  If I sat still for too long, I fell asleep.  I had no interest in anything.  And still sad.  So, so sad.  I felt like I was going through the motions of life.

“Something has gone wrong.”

And then I got my period.  Eight days later, I still had it.  Nine days.  Ten.  Fifteen.  Twenty-one days.  It was three weeks long, three weeks of mennorrhagia.  Then it stopped, and I thought, well, that was weird.  My cycle seems to have gone a little wonky, but whatever.  I have been under stress lately.  It went away for a week, came back for another week, stopped for two weeks, came back for 10 days.

“Something has gone wrong.”

I still didn’t want to admit anything was truly, truly wrong.  I would get over it.  I always do.  I have a fear of doctors and didn’t want to go.  Finally, after explaining what was going on with me to my dear friend, the same one that had witnessed me break down about my childhood, said very firmly, “You need to make an appointment with your doctor.  And you need to do it now.”

“But…”

“No, do it now.”

He texted me the next morning.  “Have you done it yet?”

“I was just about to.”

“Uh-huh.  Do it now.”

So I did.

One doctor’s appointment, a blood test, and two forms of ultrasound later, that little voice screamed, “I told you!”  Because something had, in fact, gone wrong.  Actually, it was a couple of somethings.  The kind of somethings that would send me into a downward spiral of horrible thoughts and feelings.  The kinds of somethings that would completely and utterly fuck with my mood to the point where I didn’t know myself.  And there it was, in black and white in front of my face.  The wrong things.  The fixable things.  The things that were fucking with my life.

These things may have been there for years, and I only really sat up and paid attention when it suddenly, for no apparent reason, got out of control.  I could have been like this since around puberty, when all my emotional issues started.  Yes, I was depressed before puberty, but that generally had a direct cause.  The point is, if I had been willing to see someone sooner, I could have saved myself what was possibly years of torment.  I could have been happy!  It took me getting to the point where I emotionally and physically simply could not cope before I was finally willing to do something, and even then it took my friend essentially kicking me in the ass to do it.  Why didn’t I get help sooner?  Why didn’t I put the pieces together and get to a doctor before?  Because I truly and honestly did not believe I was worth the time, money, or hassle of getting treated.  I thought I would just be a bother.  If I had to seek treatment, people would like me even less.  I would be even less lovable.  Even less wantable.  No one would put up with me.

Because depression lies.

Now, honestly, I’m much better.  Much, much, MUCH better.  And the real kicker is I haven’t even undergone any treatment yet.  I have an upcoming appointment with my doctor to discuss my treatment options.  I’m already feeling better because now I know what this is.  I know why I sometimes I feel the way I do.  When I feel my mood taking a downturn, I know what’s happening.  When I hear the voice saying not nice things, I know they are lies.  And just knowing what is happening, knowing what the lies are, knowing there are things I can do, takes away the power it had over me.  I haven’t felt this good, this stable, this happy in years.  I’m back to blogging, crafting, talking, laughing, being.

I wish I had sought treatment sooner.  The biggest lie depression told me was I was not worth treating.

Mona Wave Review

~I received this item for free in exchange for an honest review.~

Mona wave reviewI really loved the Mona 2.  Like, love-love-lovety-loved it.  It was my absolute favorite as far as rechargeable vibes go.  Powerful, pretty, waterproof, and actually does something for my G-spot, which is a feat that few other G-spot vibes could actually claim.  And then LELO came out with a new version: the Mona Wave.  Hooray!  Only, not really.  I expected to be madly in love with the Wave just like I was with it’s older sister, Mona 2, but I can pretty much sum up my feelings on it by just saying meh.

A little bit about it: The Mona Wave is a rechargeable G-spot vibrator made of silicone and plastic.  It has several vibration and pattern settings, but in addition to that, it has one unique feature: the shaft moves up and down.  This would be the “wave” of the Mona Wave.

What I loved: Mona Wave is a good start.  I’d even call it a valiant attempt at improving something already great.  The vibrations are still pretty decent, and the motion is interesting.

What I didn’t: Unfortunately, I didn’t find Wave’s motion to be anything beyond interesting.  In practice, it didn’t do a whole lot for me.  The waving action was simply too slow, even on it’s fastest setting, for me to particularly care for.  In addition to that, trying to hold the handle so the shaft moves inside of me instead of the handle outside of me ended up being something of a workout in and of itself, which was not exactly conducive to sexy time.

The vibrations feel just a shade shy of the strength of the Mona 2, but are still pretty strong.  No big deal.  And the vibrations are still pretty quiet.  But, here’s the thing, that wave motion?  That’s not quiet.  Like, at all.  Seriously.  If you have nosy family or roommates, you can’t have this thing.  It makes a loud, mechanical whine with each motion.  It’s kind of like having a giant mosquito in the bed.

Final thought:  I really wanted to think the Mona Wave was going to be the new big thing.  I wanted to think it was going to be my new favorite toy, but it simply wasn’t.  I understand what they were going for, but in practice it just didn’t work.  If you are looking to nab a LELO toy that is guaranteed to make you happy, I’d still stick with the Mona 2, and skip the Mona Wave.

~I received this item for free in exchange for an honest review.~

Private Gym Review Part 2

~I received this item for free in exchange for an honest review.~privategym

Some time ago, I wrote an introductory post about the Private Gym, a Kegel exercise regimen and weights for penis havers.  After a few weeks of using the exercises without the weights, Husband was ready to try using the weighs.

A little bit about it: The Private Gym is a set of two magnetic weights.  The first weight has a flexible loop that wraps around the penis.  The second is just a weight without the loop, and attaches to the first via magnets.  Place the loop around an erect penis, and flex the pelvic floor muscles, causing the penis to bob up and down.  Yes, basically weighted penis pull-ups.

What we loved: The Private Gym is so freaking simple.  I seriously can’t believe no one else came up with this idea before now.  We have all sorts of Kegel balls and exercisers for vaginas, why shouldn’t there be something for penises?

The Private Gym is very easy to use, and comfortable.  But aside from that, the fact of the matter is that the Private Gym, it seems, actually works.  After Husband started using it, his orgasms became stronger, which was expected.  What we didn’t expect was that he also ejaculated with much more force than ever before.

What we didn’t: The only potential problem we saw is that someone with a penis that points down while erect may have trouble keeping the weights in place.

Final thought: The Private Gym retails for just under $100.  I’m going to give it a hesitant worth it.  I’m hesitant because although I do like it, and it is very unique among toys for boys, there is currently nothing on the market that I’m aware of to compare it to, and I don’t know that basic Kegel exercises would not also give good results.  At the same time, $100 is an awful lot to ask for magnetic weights.  I’d feel a lot more comfortable if this was around the $50-60 mark.  However, for those that really need the guidance, and feel they need the extra resistance weights give, this is an good choice.  For a person that really feels that they need more guidance than a simple “work your kegel muscles,” Private Gym also sells their Basic Training without the weights.

~I received this item for free in exchange for an honest review.~

 

Tantus P-Spot Review

~I received this item for free in exchange for an honest review.~Tantus P-spot

I fell in love with the shape of the Tantus P-spot before I even held it in my hands.  I love, love, love toys with a pronounced head.  They always hit my G-spot so wonderfully, and this has the pronounced head of pronounced heads.  But, the P-spot is made for, well, P-spots, aka, the prostate.  Obviously, I don’t have one of those.  So I showed it to Husband, who is fairly new to prostate play, but he totally did a nope octopus on it (“No way.  It’s too big!”).  So, I was on my own for testing it just for G-spot pleasure.

A little bit about it: The Tantus P-Spot is a silicone dildo made for prostate stimulation.  You can bleach it, boil it, or throw it in the dishwasher. It’s insertable length is roughly 7″ (8″ total length), with a head circumference of 5.25″.

What I loved: The shape itself is unique and fabulous.  It doesn’t have a straight shaft, but a shaft that curves this way and that in all the right ways.  And it doesn’t just have a decent head, but a large, bulbous head that curves, making it incredibly easy for me to hit my G-spot with.

The shape and size of the head seems to almost pop past my G-spot, instead of just rubbing against it.  The intensity of the resulting sensation makes it so incredibly easy to hit my G-spot in a really satisfying way.  The result is incredibly easy to attain G-spot orgasms.  I mean, my particular G-spot orgasms are pretty easy to achieve regardless, but the P-spot dildo makes them practically effortless.

Tantus p-spot reviewI was concerned about how the shaft being slightly flexible would affect my ability to get decent stimulation, since I most definitely need solid pressure on my G-spot.  However, even though the P-Spot dildo has a slightly flexible shaft, it’s not too flexible.  It’s just the right amount of flex to be comfortable without sacrificing being able to use pressure with it.  It’s the perfect combination in a dildo.

What I didn’t: If I had to pick something, I guess I wish it came in more colors.

Final thought: The P-Spot sells for just over $84 at Tantus.  It’s a wonderful addition to my toy box, and I couldn’t be more pleased with it.  Tantus’s high quality silicone will last a very long time with proper care, and a dildo that works with my body this well is well worth the price tag.

If you are looking for a toy that is made specifically for G-spots, Tantus makes the G-Spot vibrator.  It has the same great shape as the G-spot, but also has a cavity in the bottom for a vibe or suction cup.

~I received this item for free in exchange for an honest review.~

Blush Novelties Eden’s Rabbit Review

~I received this item for free in exchange for an honest review.~Eden's Rabbit Review

As much as I loved Blush’s My Little Heaven, unfortunately, is just how much I hated their next review item, Eden’s Rabbit.  I mean, just…just no.  I’m not a huge fan of rabbits to begin with, but one of my very first toys was a rabbit so I know they can work for me.  So, I had high hopes.  Had.

A little bit about it: Eden’s Rabbit is a silicone rabbit vibrator.  It’s rechargeable, has 3 speeds and 4 patterns, and is waterproof when the charging port is closed.

What I loved: I found really the best way for me to use this vibe is to use the shaft, not the rabbit clitoral arm, on my clitoris.  It’s at least somewhat pleasurable.

What I didn’t: There is a whole lot that I didn’t like about Eden’s Rabbit.  Let’s start simply with the color.  It’s yet another toy that only comes in a fluorescent shade of pink.  I have feelings about toys that only come in pink, but, I also recognize that’s a preference thing and the color can easily be forgiven if the toy is awesome.  It’s not.

The vibrations are lackluster and very buzzy (as opposed to rumbly).  I’m just as likely to go numb as to orgasm with this style of vibration.  In addition, although the vibe is marketed as being quiet, it’s louder than all of my other silicone toys.  It seriously sounds like a giant mosquito.  I guess it’s technically quieter than lower end toys, but it’s still more than a little annoying.

When I tried to use it as intended, this toy does nothing for me.  I can barely feel the rabbit ears or face on my clitoris.  When I tilt it to make the vaginal shaft hit my G-spot correctly, the rabbit part lifts off my clitoris altogether.  So, as intended, it’s pretty much useless for me.

Final thought: Eden’s Rabbit sells for a variety of prices up to $90+, but you can get it for just over $50 at one of my favorite shops, Shevibe.  That being said, if you like buzzier vibrations, don’t mind the noise, and have a history of being able to make friends with rabbit vibes, you could possibly make this one work for you.  For everyone else, I recommend you just get a dildo you like and a clitoral vibe you like and call it a day.

~I received this item for free in exchange for an honest review.~

 

My Little Heaven Review

~I received this item for free in exchange for an honest review.~mlh1

I took My Little Heaven out of it’s package with an eyebrow raise and a bit of a disgusted sigh.  There was no way this was going to be a decent toy.  It looks ridiculous.  It’s too small.  It’s too flexible.  But, being the honest reviewer that I am, I went into with as open a mind as I could get, but expecting a complete dud.  Except, that’s not what happened.

A little bit about it: My Little Heaven is a petite silicone G-spot dildo.  It’s flexible, and of course waterproof (there is no motor).  Pretty simple, right?  This might be the shortest about section I’ve ever written.

What I loved: I showed Husband the toy when it first came.  He stared it a second, wrinkled his nose, and said, “Well, that’s interesting.”  By interesting, of course, he meant “WTF?”  I bent it this way and that to show him how flexible.  Flexible is generally not a good thing for G-spot toys, or at least not for me.

mlh2“Yes,” I replied.  “Interesting.”

I set about using it expecting nothing, maybe a mild tickle in the general vicinity of my G-spot.  There was no way it could be anything else.  A very short time later I had a pretty strong G-spot orgasm.  This left me with all sorts of confused feelings.  It shouldn’t work.  No flexible G-spot toy has ever been great for me.  In this case, the shape, that weird and wacky shape, fit everything in my anatomy just right.  Because it did, I didn’t have to worry about putting pressure on it (the problem if the toy is flexible).  It just fit.  And that fitting led to some of the most powerful G-spot orgasms I’ve ever had.

I wanted to believe the shape was just gimmicky; just something weird to set it apart from the “normal” toys.  And I’ve seen my fair share of gimmicky.  They usually don’t work out.  But this, this is more than gimmick.

My Little Heaven is so ridiculously simple, and yet near perfect.

When Husband asked me about it, I waved it in front of him and told him how amazing it is.

“Really?” he asked.  “That?

“I know!  I’m kind of dumbfounded myself!”

What I didn’t: I tend to like toys that have some girth to them.  My Little Heaven obviously doesn’t have that much girth.  At the same time, I don’t know that the shape would work as well if it had that girth to it.

Final thought: My Little Heaven sells for about $20 and lower.  You can even get it for under $15 at Shevibe.  Yeah, I’m not kidding.  An inexpensive and highly effective toy.  I know.  I can’t believe it, either.  This is one of those that I’m going to say won’t necessarily be the absolute go-to toy in your toy box, but it worked amazingly well for me, and for the low price point, it’s certainly worth having.

~I received this item for free in exchange for an honest review.~

LUNA Beads Noir Review

~I received this item for free in exchange for an honest review.~

luna beads noir reviewMore Kegel fun is on the way!  If you haven’t read the outcomes of the Kegel Project, you really should, regardless of whether you use Kegel exercisers or not.  But today I’m going to talk about LUNA Beads Noir by LELO.

A little bit about it: The LUNA Beads Noir (not to be confused with LUNA beads) are a set of Kegel beads, each weighing 34g.  The balls themselves are ABS plastic, and the removable harness is silicone.

What I loved: At first, the LUNA Beads Noir don’t seem to be anything particularly special or unique among other Kegel balls.  Two balls with a connector.  At this point, it’s a pretty standard design among luxury toy makers, like Fun Factory’s SmartBalls or Je Joue’s Ami.  The difference here is that LUNA Beads come out of their harness!  For vagina havers that have had problems with Kegel Exercisers being too long or pinching, or don’t fit right in other ways, the fact that you have the option of removing the balls is a big deal, and my favorite thing about this particular set.

There’s one more thing I loved about these.  I can feel the movement of the interior beads better than other sets.  Not by much, but it’s definitely a difference that makes the LUNA Beads Noir stand out a little bit more.

What I didn’t: I dearly wish the Noir set came with with interchangeable weight balls like the classic LUNA Beads or LUNA Beads mini.  That’s really my only complaint.

Final thought: The LUNA Beads Noir sell for about $34, and worth it for those that want the option of using Kegel balls with or without a harness.  However, if you want something similar with the option to change the weight, stick with the LUNA Beads classic or mini.

~I received this item for free in exchange for an honest review.~

Intimate Melody Ava Review

~I received this item for free in exchange for an honest review.~Intimate Melody Ava

Sometimes I’m so very excited about a toy that has something new and interesting about it.  In the case of the Intimate Melody Ava, that interesting thing is that it is a self heating vibrator.  Push a button, and it warms up.  What a great idea!  Well, the idea is good, but the practice needs quite a bit of work.

A little bit about it: The Ava is a waterproof, rechargeable vibe that has a heating function, along with 3 speeds and 4 patterns.  Its shaft is silicone with an ABS plastic handle.

What I loved: It’s waterproof, rechargeable, quiet, and made of silicone.  That’s pretty standard for what I like, and unfortunately, that’s where my love ends.

What I didn’t: Although I love the idea of a self-warming vibrator, I had problems with the Ava as soon as I took it out of the box.  It started with the instructions, which seem like they were run through an online translator into English.  “What is the difference between using the interest massage stick and the real sex?” Huh?  “…We have collected the opinion of over a hundred women who had used the interest massager stick before.  ‘Yes! It is impossible for the man’s penis to be featured with the vibration and rotation, while the dull tool does not have the temperature of a man!'”  I read that last sentence five times before I understood it.  The rest of the instructions aren’t much better, but it does go on to say that it is “endowed with the man’s passion.”  Whatever that means.  I’ve made no secret about my distaste of toys that say something is just like skin, or just like sex, or better than sex.  Sex is sex, people are people, toys are toys.  The end.

Next, let’s talk about the heating function.  I will be honest and say that my vagina couldn’t tell when the Ava was warm or cold.  But, my lack of temperature sensitivity is not the fault of the toy.  What is the fault of the toy is how long it takes to warm up.  When I first turned it on, I thought maybe it was broken.  But as an experiment, I left it on and waited to see if it would warm up.  It did, but it took a long time.  How long, exactly?  I timed it.

1 minute: Still cold
2 minutes: Not cold, but not warm
3 minutes: Very slightly warm
4 minutes: Top of shaft is a little warmer than skin, bottom of shaft barely warm
5 minutes: Very slightly warmer than 4 minutes6.5 minutes: Warm enough to think about using
8 minutes: Top of the warmth scale. Instant read thermometer reads between 105-110F

Even though it takes forever and a day to warm up, and my vagina can’t tell the difference, my clitoris likes the warmth.  So, if the vibrations were decent, it would be a really good clitoral vibe.  Except, well, the vibrations aren’t that great.  On a scale of 1-5, with 4 being anything We-Vibe, and 5 being the Magic Wand, the Ava is maybe a mid 3.  That’s a problem, since in order for me to orgasm I need at least a 4.  Even then, I could still orgasm if the vibrations were deep.  They aren’t.  They are very surfacey and a hybrid between rumbley (which is good) and buzzy (which is not).

Finally, let’s talk about the shape.  The manual indicates that the Ava is supposed to be a good G-spot toy.  However, the shaft is straight.  In order to have really good G-spot stimulation, a toy has to have a curve of some sort, or at least a bulbous head.  I tried so hard to make it work for my G-spot.  Nope.  It’s not the right shape at all.

Intimate Melody Ava reviewFinal thought: It’s a good idea, but the Ava needs some work.  It needs to warm up faster, have a more G-spot friendly shape, and have better, stronger, deeper vibrations.  I’d love to see it redesigned as a purely clitoral vibe.  Until there are some updates, I’m going to have to say skip this one.

~I received this item for free in exchange for an honest review.~

Tango Pleasure Mate Collection Review

~I received this item for free in exchange for an honest review.~We-Vibe Pleasure Mate review

Tango users everywhere, rejoice!  No, seriously.  If you haven’t already heard, the We-Vibe Tango is one of the most celebrated vibrators on the market for it’s power and design.  In fact, one of the most common questions I see when it comes to toys that have a hole for a bullet vibe is, “Will my Tango fit there?”  Well, evidently We-Vibe has been paying attention, and came out with a set of toys specifically designed to work with the Tango.

A little bit about it: The Tango Pleasure Mate Collection comes with three toys: the Tango vibrator, a G-spot dildo, and a butt plug.  The dildo has a hole in the base that Tango fits in, transforming the dildo into a vibrator.  The plug has a slot in the base that is open at each end that the Tango slides into, turning it into a vibrating toy as well.  The Tango can be used as a stand alone vibrator, and dildo and plug can be used with or without the the Tango.

What I loved:

Tango: I’ve loved the Tango vibe for a long time.  It’s waterproof, quiet, strong, and rechargeable.  The size is perfect both for masturbation and couple’s play, as it fits easily between partners.  I was worried that when paired with the toys the silicone may dampen the vibrations too much.  Nope!  The vibrations carried very well into the dildo and plug.

G-spot dildo: I have mixed feelings about the dildo, but overall I liked it.  It was very, very easy for me to have a G-spot orgasm with it, and the shape was just right for hitting everything correctly.  The neck is stiff, allowing me to hit my G-spot with the force I need for it to work effectively.  The flat shape of the head provided a fantastic broad sensation against my G-spot, and it being broad, made my G-spot much easier to find.  When paired with the Tango vibrator, it’s even better.

I’ve never had much luck with G-spot vibrators.  The vibrations just never seemed to affect me, and I thought maybe my G-spot just doesn’t respond to vibrations.  After I tried the Mona 2, I was surprised to find that I did respond to vibrations, but only deep, strong, rumbley ones that I could direct in a very specific manner.  With the G-spot toy that comes with the Pleasure Mate Collection, I get the same deep, rumbling vibrations I need for my spot to respond.  I tried it as a clitoral toy as well, placing the head of the toy against my clitoris.  Wow.  The broad, flat surface of the toy paired with the vibrations is amazing.

Plug: The plug is a really great size, particularly for beginners.  Those that like larger anal toys probably won’t care for it, but since I like small to medium plugs, I thought this one was great.  The size, angle, and shape are incredibly comfortable, and the vibrations from the Tango transfer well.

What I didn’t:

Tango: As with most We-Vibe toys, there’s a bit of a trade-off between power and battery life.  It can only run 20-30 minutes on high before it starts to lose intensity.

G-spot dildo: I have one major complaint about the dildo, and unfortunately, it is a rather big complaint.  Although I love the shape and the size of the head, the shaft is simply not long enough to control well.  My G-spot is a little further in, and there’s not much to grab on to to control it.  A longer shaft would easily fix this problem.

Plug: Not so much a complaint as a minor annoyance, but when using the plug with the Tango, I can feel the Tango hit my labia.  It’s not really a problem, but the sensation was unexpected.

Final thought: Tentatively worth it and priced at $149 for the set.  I say tentatively because I love the Tango, love the plug, and mostly love the dildo.  If the shaft was a little longer, I’d declare a hands down worth it.  So, if you are the type that likes toys with longer handles and shafts, skip the set and just get a Tango and pair it with a Tantus dildo.  For everyone else, the Pleasure Mate Collection is certainly worth a glance.

~I received this item for free in exchange for an honest review.~