We-Vibe Touch (new version) Review

~I received this item for free in exchange for an honest review.~

touch1One of the very first luxury toys I received was the We-Vibe Touch.  I loved just about everything about it.  Body safe silicone, decent vibrations?  What’s not to love?

And then I heard rumblings from CatylstCon East a few weeks ago that We-Vibe was there with a glorious new version.  The major improvements?  A more stable charging base and buttery soft silicone instead of glossy silicone.

A little bit about it:  The Touch is a rechargeable, external clitoral vibrator.  It charges via a wall plug (not USB plug that is so common now), is waterproof, and comes with a storage bag.  It’s elegantly simple and works amazingly well.

What I loved: The vibrations are fantastic.  They are deep and rumbly, and incredibly satisfying.  Like broad vibrations?  Use the dip on the front or rounded back.  Like pinpoint vibrations?  Use the pointed tip.  Something in between?  Use the side.  It’s got you covered.touch4

The Touch works great for both masturbation and partnered sex.  Even though we love using the Magic Wand for sex, it is pretty unwieldy and can get in the way.  The Touch, however, packs a deep punch in a much smaller package.  Although it can bump into our pubic bones if we aren’t careful, for the most part it stays in place and is unobtrusive, especially in the cowgirl position.

I need strong vibrations and the Touch really delivers.  I’m not saying it’s Magic Wand strong, as few things can compare to an item that runs on wall power.  That being said, the Touch provides quite a bit of power.  If the Magic Wand is a 5 on a vibration scale, then the Touch is easily a mid to high 4.  The depth of the Touch’s vibrations, coupled with the small size makes it perfect for both solo and partnered sex.  Oh, and waterproof!  Can we say shower fun?

Finally, it doesn’t use a USB charger.  A USB charger is not a deal breaker for me, and in fact, I have a lot of toys that charge via USB.  However, I much prefer a charger that you can plug into the wall.  For the way my house is arranged, this is much less awkward.

What I didn’t: The battery life is still slightly short for my tastes, but not so much that it bothers me a whole lot.  Be warned, though, that if you’re the type that takes 40 minutes of the strongest vibrations before you reach orgasm, you may want to hold off on reaching for the Touch until you’re nearly there.  Personally, I take about 20 minutes, and the Touch battery life is just right for one average session, with charging in between sessions.

Old Version vs. New Version: The materials on the old and new versions, though both silicone, have a different texture.  The old version is a glossy silicone, and very draggy, as is the nature of glossy silicone.  Beautiful for the body, but a lot of friction.  The new version, though, has a silky silicone that glides across the skin.  Though some water based lubricant is still recommended, the silky silicone is more comfortable than the glossy.

touch3The charger base has also changed a little bit, with the magnetic prongs on the newer version being more pronounced.  Those that have had trouble getting the chargers to stay put on the old version may like the new one, but personally, I don’t notice much of a difference.

touch2

Finally, I want to note that the motor has not changed.  The new version feels a little stronger to me, but I worried that I may be falling for the new-is-better mentality.  I contacted We-Vibe, who told me the motor is the same as before.

Final Thought:  I’m still in love with the We-Vibe Touch.  I do wish for a slightly longer battery life, but the benefits far outweigh that one downside.  At roughly $99, it’s a wonderful little vibe that packs a bit of power.

Want your own?  Pick one up at We-Vibe.

~I received this item free of charge in exchange for an honest review.~

Bedroom Misadventures: Episode 11

Today was not a fantastic day.  It actually started last night, when unforeseen circumstances caused very exciting plans to be cancelled.  The kind of plans that took quite a bit of prep work.  Then right before bed, I reached down to get something, but when I stood up I hit right by my kidney on an overhang of the kitchen counter.  The pain was so intense, I dropped to the floor and did one of those silent yell things.  You know the kind.  Husband rushed over and helped me up.  I ended up with an angry red line where it hit, and a bruise the size of my palm around it.  We put ice on it, called it a day, and hit the sack.  It was a restless night, since we tend to sleep against each other but I was now in too much pain.  He spent part of the night up and around, while I slept and had sad, stressful dreams that I couldn’t remember.

Today we still had a disappointment hangover (is that a thing?  I’m going with it.  Disappointment hangover), so went out to do some shopping with the kids.  We really wanted to go to a particular book store, looked up the hours, and found that we’d be arriving just as they opened.

When we arrived at the book store, we found a locked door and posted hours that were very different than their online listing.  So.  Well.  There’s that.  We kicked around to different shops for a while until they opened.  Not the end of the world, just mildly annoying when we were already feeling a little bit down.

We came home, and a little while later an enormous storm, half the size of our state, rolled through, with thunder and lightning and wind.  As we sat, just relaxing and listening to the rain, water started to pour into our living room.

You. have. got. to. be. kidding. me.

In the middle of the storm, there was nothing we could do except throw a towel down and watch it stream in from the ceiling.

“Call the roofers on Monday,” Husband sighed.

To try to decompress from the day, we decided to go have sex.  I reached over for my favorite lubricant (which is usually Sliquid anything) and remembered that one of the companies I had worked with sent me a box of Sliquid samples, many of which I hadn’t tried.  I flipped through them until I found one that said, “Sliquid Sensation.”  Yeah, that sounds good.  What I didn’t know is that one of the main ingredients in Sensation is menthol.

So, I put some on Husband, and we’re getting our bow-chicka-bow-wow on, when I thought to myself, “Huh.  This lubricant is really cold.  It doesn’t seem to warm to body temperature as well as the others.”

That thought was followed by, “Wow, REALLY cold.”  Followed by, “Now it’s warm.”  And finally, “HOT!  HOT!!  HOT!!!”

And then…nothing.  “You’re coming up too high,” Husband whispered.  “I can’t feel anything!” I replied.  We reached for a vibrator, a Magic Wand even, but felt very little.  My entire vagina/clitoris area had gone completely numb except for a persistent burning sensation.

At this point we gave up.  So to recap: Cancelled plans, big ow, stupid book store, living room puddle, burning vagina.

Jopen Key Comet G Review

*Note*: This review is for the original, non-vibrating Comet G.comet1

The Comet G was on my radar as soon as it came out, but I resisted for a good long time.  I had already tried the Io from Jopen’s Key line, but felt nothing but hatred for it.  Before that, I had tried Jopen’s Ego e3, which also failed me.  Add that to the fact that Jopen’s parent company is California Exotics, which I haven’t had very good experiences with, I thought I was pretty much done with Jopen and CalEx.

But something kept drawing me back towards it.  It was so pretty and had options for colors other than pink.  A simple, curved, G-spot, silicone covered glass dildo.  It would be hard to screw that up, right?  RIGHT???

This was not a toy that was simply given to me for review.  I had to put up for this toy.  When it comes to my own funds, I want to be darn sure I’m going to love it.  The final push I needed to give it a try was when renown sex toy reviewer Epiphora actually compared it to the awesomeness of a Pure Wand.  Sold.

comet2

A little bit about it:  The Comet G is a glass dildo that has been dipped in silicone.  The large bulb on the end makes hitting the G-spot a little easier (in my opinion) than smaller toys.  Its head has a circumference of 5 inches, and is 8 inches long along the inner curve, 9.5 along the outer curve (by my measurements).

comet3

What I loved:  At first I didn’t love the Comet G.  It sat all alone and sad with other discarded toys after just a few uses.  It felt weird.  I didn’t like it.  The silicone had a lot of drag and I thought it felt uncomfortable.

After a while of it being tucked away, I decided to take it out again and give it another try.  I’m so glad I did.  I realized that though I only have to use a tiny bit of lubricant with other toys, with this one I need significantly more.  Once I realized that, the toy became a lot more pleasurable.

I wondered why I would want to have the Comet G when I already have a Pure Wand.  The Pure Wand, after all, stimulates my G-spot so nicely, I couldn’t imagine something working any better.  I mean, the Pure Wand gave me my first G-spot orgasm!  How is this going to top that?

Honestly, it doesn’t top it, but it is equal to it.  Both the Pure Wand and Comet G have both the curve and firmness that I find essential for G-spot stimulation, but they are different.  While the Pure Wand just glides across my G-spot and relies on pressure, the Comet G uses friction to tug on the G-spot, even with lubricant.  I noticed that Epiphora had the same thought.

Did I orgasm with it?  Yes.  Yes.  Oh, yes.  I have no trouble calling this an orgasm giver, once I realized I just needed more lubrication to use it comfortably.

What I didn’t: The Comet G is kind of a lube hog.  I usually don’t have to reapply lubricant, but I do with the Comet G if I use it for longer than just a couple of minutes.  Though the matte silicone covering the insertion portion feels nice on my fingers, it has quite a bit of drag to it.  You have to be prepared to use a lot of lubricant.

The only other thing I noticed was a slight problem with it occasionally catching on the underside of my pubic bone.  This wasn’t a big deal for me, but it may be for others.  I’ve noticed a few people have had trouble with even the Pure Wand catching on their pubic bones.  I’m not sure if it would more of an issue with the Comet G, since it has a little less dramatic of a curve, or worse, since it has so much friction.

Final thought:  You can pick up the Comet G for about $75, which is a little less expensive than the Pure Wand.  I do think it is worth adding to your toy collection, as the slight pulling sensation is something unique to this toy that I haven’t experienced before.  Oh, and it gave me orgasms.  I mean, there’s that.  I think I’m going to have to move it from my box of seldom used toys to the box of toys that I must keep handy at all times.

Want your own?  Shevibe sells them in a choice of three colors: blue, pink, and purple!

Seagrape Exotic Fields Bath + Body Oil Review

~I received this item for free in exchange for an honest review.~

oil2When Shevibe sent me a sample of Seagrape’s Edible Honey Dust and Deep Light Massage Candle,  they also sent me one more thing: Exotic Fields Massage Oil.

A little bit about it:  Seagrape’s Exotic Fields Massage Oil, like Seagrape’s other wares, is full of natural goodness.  If you’ve been reading along, you know that I like my bath and body products to be as natural as possible, and this massage oil fits right in.  It contains a blend of oils (grape seed, sweet almond, jojoba, apricot kernel, avocado, coconut, soybean, and olive), vitamin E, herbs, and essential oils.  The particular scent is peppermint, rosemary, lemon, and clove.  Pour it in your hands, warm it up in your palms, and use it like you would any massage oil.

What I loved: Of course, I dig natural products, and so far have loved everything I’ve tried from Seagrape.  This oil smells absolutely heavenly.  It has a medicinal twang of a scent to it, but in a good way.  And believe me, I’ve racked my brain trying to find a word for “medicinal in a good way.”  I couldn’t come up with a word.  I even asked all of Twitter, with no good answer.  I suppose therapeutic would be closest, but trust me.  It smells medicinal in a good way.  The peppermint, rosemary, lemon, and clove scents work together in such an amazing way that I just want to bathe in this stuff.

In use, I noticed the oil doesn’t feel cold on my skin like so many other oils I’ve tried do.  I’m not altogether sure why that is, other than perhaps the warming essential oils it contains.  The oil itself rubs into the skin easily, but not too quickly, so you can get a decent massage out of it.  The warmth of the oil, the slickness that eventually rubs in, and the amazing scent combine to give a simply amazing massage if you know a few basic strokes.

Finally, the bottle contains bits of rosemary and cloves.  That’s kind of adorable.  It gives it a nice, rustic, homey sort of touch.oil

What I didn’t:  Guess what!  This space will be blank.  I loved everything about it.

Final thought: I love this massage oil.  It’s warm, comforting, and works amazingly well.  I try to find oils that last long enough to get at least a few minutes of strokes out of it before I have to reapply, but also absorbs and doesn’t leave skin greasy.  Seagrape’s oil wins on both counts.

Want your own?  You can pick it up in one of Seagrape’s Sexy Weekend Kits sold at Shevibe.  If you want just the oil, not the kit, you can find it at Seagrape’s site.

Special thanks to Shevibe for giving me the opportunity to review products from this amazing new company!

~I received this item for free in exchange for an honest review.~

Pleasure Purse Review

~I received this item for free in exchange for an honest review.~

As a sex blogger and parent, I’ve come up with several ways to hide our toys and adult sex ed books, but never had storage that was made specifically for sex toys.  Sure, I’ve looked at a few, but I always had two questions when I look at dedicated toy storage:

  1. Why should I buy that box when I can get a bigger, locking train case with dividers, made of better material, and for 1/2 or 1/3 of the price you’re asking for?

2. Got anything bigger than what you’re showing me?

The first question, of course, doesn’t really have an answer, as any company will try to convince you that their product is the best thing ever.  I spoke with one company that used the word luxury so much in their correspondence that I got bored and started to wonder who they were trying to convince.

The second question is usually answered with something along the lines of, “We thought people would want small,” or, “Not now, but maybe later we’ll make something bigger.”  Of course, that doesn’t help those that are looking for larger storage now.  There are already tons of small boxes, pouches, and pillows on the market.  Some of us have been waiting for big.

When I saw the Pleasure Purse, I wondered about it.  Would this finally be the storage I’ve been hunting for?  It looked OK, and seemed pretty spacious from the photos.

I’m now in love with it.

pp4-5

A little bit about it:  The Pleasure Purse is a toy storage solution shaped as an oversized handbag.  The exterior is black leather, with leopard print satin interior.  It’s fairly large, being approximately 17″ wide x 11″ tall x 9″ deep (at the bottom, 7″ at the top).  Each bag comes with an additional shoulder strap, lock with two keys, and a satin leopard print storage bag for toys or lingerie.

pp1pp6

What I loved: Let me just say the obvious:  The size is amazing.  Most of the toy storage I’ve seen has not only been outrageously priced, but can only hold maybe two or three toys, and that’s it.  That’s not the case here.  Here is a photo of the bag not even half full, with 13 items inside:

pp2In the photo at the top of the post, the bag is comfortably full without being stuffed.  Namely, all this stuff:

pp3Thirty-two items.  Thirty-two without it being stuffed.  More specifically, we have:

  • 2 bottles of Sliquid lubricant
  • 3 lubricant samples
  • Sqweel Go
  • Magic Wand
  • Njoy Pure Wand in it’s case
  • Tantus Echo
  • Tantus Splash
  • LELO Mona with charger
  • Tantus B-Bomb
  • Minna Limon with charger
  • We-Vibe Touch with charger
  • Je Joue MiMi with charger
  • We-Vibe Salsa with charger
  • Jopen Comet
  • 2 Tenga Eggs
  • Magic Banana
  • IGino in box
  • 2 glass wands
  • Fun Factory Big Boss with charger
  • Fun Factory Stronic Eins
  • Fun Factory Bimini Ocean
  • Leaf Vitality with charger
  • One Bad Dragon toy (not pictured)
  • We-Vibe 4 with charger
  • 2 books in the bottom

Even though this bag does not fit all my toys (there are a lot more), it does make it easy to keep favorites within reach or to pack them up securely and take them traveling.

Another thing I love about the bag is all the pockets.  There are 7 of them, aside from the main compartment.  There are two open top pockets on the outside of the bag, 2 zipper and 2 elastic top pockets on the inside (perfect for holding lubricants upright), and a zipper pocket that lies flat on the bottom for books, lingerie, or other items that need to be flat.

There is no indication on the outside of the bag that shows what the bag was made for, with the exception of two PP emblems, which most people won’t recognize.  Unlike a chest-style storage box that looks rather inviting (who doesn’t see a chest and just want to open it?), the Pleasure Purse looks like an oversized handbag or an overnight bag.  Basically, it looks like a pretty piece of luggage.  Nothing strange about that.  Nothing to see here.  Move along.

At first I wished there were more dividers inside to help with organization of toys, but I ended up deciding that I like the large, open compartment better.  It allows the bag to hold toys and clothes for overnight trips.  You can easily fit a day or two of clothes in the bag.

What I didn’t: The one thing that put me off about the Pleasure Purse is the leopard print interior.  I’m not a fan of animal print, and many people aren’t, but there seems to be this idea among some manufacturers that leopard print=sexy.  Personally, it reminds me of my mother who was a fan of animal prints.  That makes it feel a bit skeevy.  But since it’s on the inside, I can cope with it.

Aside from some different lining options, the only other thing I’d like to see is maybe some removable dividers, so the user can decide how large the main space is.

Final thought: I love the Pleasure Purse.  It retails for around $120, which is a little less than you’d pay for a nice leather overnight bag, and is bigger than many other toy solutions that are only designed to hold a few toys.  Add that to the fact that the Pleasure Purse seems well made, is lockable, and can double as an overnight bag to carry around your adult goodies, I’d say it’s worth a look.

Want your own?  Go check out Pleasure Purse’s site to find out more about it.

~I received this item for free in exchange for an honest review.~

Seagrape Deep Light Massage Candle Review

~I received this item for free in exchange for an honest review.~candle

Husband and I love massages.  One year for Christmas, we gave each other a portable massage table, and always keep some nice, natural oils on hand.  Then I saw massage candles.  Massage candles work by using the flame from the wick to melt the wax, which turns into a thick massage oil.  I’ve tried a few massage candles before, but always hated them.  I loved their idea, but their artificial scents were such a turn off and they left a thick residue on my skin.  I decided I’m not a massage candle person.

Then Shevibe offered me a chance to review one of Seagrape’s Deep Light Massage candle.  Maybe, I thought, it’s not that I’m not a massage candle person.  Maybe I just needed to find the right candle.

A little bit about it: Seagrape’s massage candle is used by lighting the wick, waiting 20-30 minutes, blowing it out, and using the melted wax as a massage oil.  The ingredients are all natural (I checked and double checked with the maker).  And the ingredients are simple: Soy wax, coconut oil, shea butter, vitamin E, essential and flavour oil blend, love.  Yep, this one also contains love.

I was a bit worried when I saw “flavour oil.”  That’s a phrase used by a lot of different companies to mean a lot of different things.  Sometimes flavour oils are natural, sometimes they are artificial.  When I asked Seagrape, though, they assured me that this candle only has essential oils in it.  Their chocolate, vanilla, and raspberry candles contain flavour oils, but they are naturally derived.

What I loved: Husband and I tried the massage candle together.  The melted wax feels wonderful on our skin.  Hot, but not too hot, thick and smooth.  It glides across our skin with very little effort, even though it’s somewhat thicker than regular massage oil.  We can massage for several minutes before the thick oil starts to turn back to wax.

The scent is lavender and orange, which I wouldn’t have thought to put together, but it smells amazing.  The sweet, energetic scent of the orange comes through the most, with the comforting scent of lavender underneath of it.

Generally, when we use regular massage oil, we warm it up in our hands a little before touching each other.  With the massage candle, we pour it right on to our skin (testing the temperature first, of course.  No one wants to get burned).  The warm, almost hot wax gives a pleasant, exciting little shock to the skin that you don’t get with regular oil.

What I didn’t: The only thing we didn’t like about the massage candle is that as it cools, it turns back into a waxy substance, leaving a fine film on the skin.  It’s not as bad as other massage candles I’ve tried, but it does mean that a quick wash off after this wax play is a necessity.  But at this point, I’m kind of thinking that this will be an issue with any massage candle.

Final thought: Oh-so-worth it.  Even though you will likely have to jump in the shower after use, the smooth, sweet smelling, warm wax is worth a bit of clean up.

Want your own?  Shevibe sells them in Seagrape’s Sexy Spanking Kit and Sexy Travel Kit.  If you want just the candle, not the kit, you can find it on Seagrape’s site.

~I received this item for free in exchange for an honest review.~

Bedroom Misadventures: Episode 10

It’s been unseasonably hot, even for here.  We’ve been in the 80′s for several days, with high humidity, rain, and storms.  During a break in the rain, Husband suggested we attend a local outdoor sporting event, about 45 minutes away from home.

Since we were looking at another day of high temperatures, I wore a comfy shelf tank (the kind with a built-in bra) for the occasion.  We walked around, watching the players practice and just generally people watching.  That’s when I noticed something a little odd: people were staring.  Not at us.  At me.  At first I chalked it up to my imagination.  Why would people be staring?

It started with an elderly male employee greeting and directing people, whose eyes lingered on my chest area a little too long as I passed.  Then the middle aged woman giving out team rosters seemed a little uncomfortable with me.  And as we walked around, there were several women that let their eyes flash at mine, give me a strange half smile (which I totally misinterpreted as the I-think-I-know-you-but-I’m-not-sure smile), before turning away.  Most women I met did this, or turned away from me entirely.

Huh.  Odd.

Players making their way between fields glanced at my chest and held their eyes there as they passed by.  Several men looked past or above me until I was almost even with them, when I saw their eyes drop and stay.

What is going on here?

I excused myself to the rest room, but as I walked alone, the stares got worse.  Not quite as covert.  I pulled up the top of my shirt so it covered more of my chest.

“I know this shirt is a little low cut,” I thought, “But geez, it’s not that low!”

As I made my way to the bathroom on the other side of the fields, it just got worse and worse.  There were giggles, whispers, and I clearly heard a group of middle aged men refer to me as “that girl” as I passed them.

When I was finally alone in the women’s rest room, I looked in the mirror.

I understood the stares.  The whispers.  The weird reactions.

The bars of my nipple piercings were front and center.  The built in bra of my shirt did very little to hide them.  You see, I had recently changed out the steel balls at the end of my piercings and replaced them with larger, jeweled ends, since they drive Husband nuts in a good way.  With the old ball ends, you could not see the piercings in that shirt.  With these ball ends, they were hard to ignore.  My piercings were staring back at me out of the mirror.

Forty-five minutes away from home.  In a crowd of people.  No hope of hiding them.

[Brief interlude: When I told this story to a friend, she asked me at this point why I did not just take the piercings out until I got home.  Simply put, you can't do that to nipple piercings, especially not ones only a few months old.  The piercings will close up immediately.]

I went to rejoin Husband.  More stares, more whispers.  I kept my eyes level, head held high.  I thought if I tried to hide them, it would just make them more obvious.  I don’t think it helped.

When I finally reached Husband, I whispered the problem in his ear, sprinkled with lots of swearing.  I did not tell him about the staring and laughing, just about what I saw in the mirror.  He looked at me and started laughing.  He himself had noticed nothing amiss with my clothes.

I came home with mixed feelings.  It was a little funny not realizing my piercings were so obvious.  It’s a little embarrassing, too.  Just the right kind of embarrassing that makes it a great story to tell later over a glass of wine and a lot of laughing.  Mostly, that’s what I’m doing.

But I also had an epiphany:  They’re just boobs.  Seriously, they…are…just…boobs.  Yep, my nipples are pierced.  Other people noticed.  Congrats.  Would ya like a ribbon for noticing that I have a chest?

Now, I really get it.  My piercings were pretty obvious today.  People couldn’t help but notice them.  But was the whispering really necessary?  The blatant staring, especially when I was no longer standing next to my husband?  The label of “that girl”* when I am in fact IN MY 30′s???

In short, noticing something sex related about a person is not an excuse to abandon social skills.  They are just boobs.  And my eyes are up here.

*Calling females in my age group “girls” while calling males of the same age “men” is one of my pet peeves.

Seagrape Chocolate Edible Honey Dust Review

~I received this product for free in exchange for an honest review.~honeydust

Oh, how I love natural body products.  Love.  I hoard my natural soaps.  I make my own lotion and lip balm.  I have an ever growing collection of essential oils.  Of course, I’ve tried a lot of natural bath and body companies.  Some had great products, but terrible service, and some had decent service but had products that weren’t so natural as… “natural.”  It’s a rare find to have both.

Enter Seagrape Bath and Body, now carried by one of my favorite stores, Shevibe!  Shevibe has graciously sent me a sample of Seagrape’s Edible Honey Dust, Deep Light Massage Candle, and Exotic Fields Massage Oil.  All are natural, and all fantastic.  To start off the trio of reviews, let’s talk about the first product I tried: Chocolate Edible Honey Dust.

A little bit about it: Edible dust is made to be sprinkled on the skin and then kissed or licked off.  I’ve never been too interested in the idea of edible powder, partly because it didn’t sound like fun, but mostly because most of the powders I’ve seen were full of artificial ingredients.  Since most of my body products are all natural, when I get a whiff or taste of something not quite right, it’s a huge turn-off.  However since Seagrape’s Edible Honey Dust is made from natural ingredients, I was willing to give it a try.

Ingredients: cornstarch, honey powder, vanilla powder, Dutch pressed cocoa powder + love.

Yes, love is listed as one of the ingredients.  You can totally taste the love.

What I loved: Husband and I tried the dust on each other.  I really thought the best I could hope for was to be able to recommend it to people that are into edible body powders.  I didn’t think I was one of them, and didn’t think Husband was, either.  But, since we’ve never actually tried edible dust, we figured we may surprise ourselves.

Wow, were we surprised!  We loved it.  It’s now one of our favorite foreplay activities.  Dusting the powder on with a feather is amazing.  It feels soft and sweet and sensual, without feeling like we’ve fallen over into pink painted cute.  It’s light and delightfully sweet smelling, and reminds me of hot chocolate.  The taste, though, reminds me of dark chocolate.  It’s not super sweet, but just sweet enough to be delicious.

Licking and kissing all over is something we both enjoy, but I was concerned that the power would leave our skin sticky.  That’s not the case.  There’s not a bit of stickiness, so no need to jump back in the shower after using it.

What I didn’t: We both tend to knock over the open jar while using it, but that’s more of our lack of coordination than a problem with Seagrape.

Final thought:  Worth it.  Even though we both like kissing and licking all over, we rarely make time for it.  With this edible dust, with it’s light scent and delicate taste, we have a reason to slow down.  It doesn’t leave our skin sticky, and neither the scent nor taste are overpowering.  I’ve seen other body products meant to enhance sex that have scents that just overpower me.  This isn’t one of them.

Moreover, we’re the kind of people that say, “Hey, let’s take some more time to do foreplay today,” and we both agree, but then just sort of awkwardly sit there.  Sometimes it’s hard to pick a direction to take, but with made-for-foreplay items like the honey dust, we get the ball rolling a little bit easier.

Yes, I am a sex blogger that just admitted that I suck at foreplay.  Honesty in blogging, friends.  Honesty in blogging.

Oh, and the bit I mentioned about customer service?  I had emailed them with a question about their massage candle, and they answered promptly and politely, without talking to me like an idiot.  Yes, I have had companies explain things to me like I was a 5-year-old (usually while trying to tell me why I should be buying lots and lots from them).  Seagrape, though, was patient and answered all my questions without talking down to me.  Bravo.

Want your own edible honey dust?  Of course you do!  Shevibe sells them in kits with other amazing Seagrape products!  If you want an individual item instead of a kit, you can check out Seagrape’s site.

~I received this product for free in exchange for an honest review.~

Bedroom Misadventures: Episode 9

Here we go with our next episode of Bedroom Misadventures, in which I attend a make-up party and think I’m supporting a friend, and ends with Husband having to comfort me.  This is going to be a post heavy on health, body image, and pushy salespeople.

“I’m hosting a make-up party at my house and I want you to come.  It will just be girls.  There will be wine and it will be a good time.”  That’s the gist of the message I received from a friend of mine.  The make-up would be from a certain MLM (multi-level marketing) company that most people have heard of, and honestly I didn’t want any of it.  But, this seems to be my friend’s new thing, and if she needed an extra body there and there was wine involved, I supposed it couldn’t hurt to go and support her.  She knows I’m not into this sort of thing, anyway.

So I showed up at her house at the appointed time, was warmly greeted by her, and then was very noisily greeted by another, older woman in what is clearly the make-up selling uniform.  Woah.  What is this?  Who is that???  What’s happening?  At this point I found that my friend had not been too forthcoming with me.  I wasn’t here to listen to my friend and support her in her new venture.  I was here to sit in my friend’s house, next to my friend, and listen to this complete stranger with the huge, rattling jewellery try to convince me to buy things I don’t want.  How do I get out?

I should have pretended to get a call.  I should have found a way to leave at that moment, right as I realized I got bamboozled.  But hey, since I showed up, my friend got a sizeable shopping spree with this company.  Isn’t that…nice.

But, I’m polite, so I stayed where I was.  Stupid, stupid, stupid me.  I sat there, listening to her charm bracelets rattle in my ear as she went through her spiel about why this is the BEST MAKE-UP EVER!!!!  You NEED this stuff, people, because if you don’t have it, your skin will be DAMAGED FROM WALKING TO YOUR MAILBOX!!!!  OMG!!!  WE’RE ALL GOING TO DIE WITHOUT THIS STUFF!!!!

Oh, and by the way?  “No wine until after we do samples!”  Super.

Then she taught us that each time she said certain key words, if we blurted out that we loved the company, we’d win a ticket.  If she drew our ticket at the end of the day, we’d win fabulous prizes!  I sat there ticketless the whole time, not even trying, because I did not want anything from this company.  She continued on with her speech about why we need this-that-and-the-other, calling the buzzword occasionally, and me just not caring.  She said some of the most ridiculous stuff, made crazy claims, and then…AND THEN…  OK.  Get this.  I am in my early 30′s, along with a couple of other people that were there.  Everyone else was significantly older.  She wanted us to use some sort of skin repair mumbo jumbo to keep us from getting wrinkles.  She wanted us to worry about natural skin conditions before we even had them.  We, that were perfectly fine and comfortable in our skins, should be very, very concerned.  Pretty soon, she seemed to be saying, we’re going to get ugly.  It’s a good thing she’s there to tell us what to do!  In a nutshell, she pointed out the flaws of the older women, and told them what to do.  With the younger women, she warned of coming flaws, and told us what to do.  Basically, we should all feel ugly or on our way to ugliness, but her products can save us.  She can save us from unsightly eye bags.  She can make our lips smoother and softer.  She can make us healthy and beautiful, if we have the cash.

I’m pretty sure you know how I feel about marketing to women’s fears and poor body image.

Anyway, she launched into this speech about a product they have that contains retinol.  She said it in such a way that you’d think that it deserves some sort of fanfare.

“Of course, this isn’t the same amount of retinol a dermatologist uses,” she said.  “We can’t do that.  But it is just one degree lower.”

One degree, huh?  Uh-huh.  Really.  You don’t say.  The thing is, when manufacturers come out with a new toy and say, “It’s 50% more powerful!” or it has “Stronger vibrations than other toys!” we demand to know some things.  50% more powerful than what?  Stronger than which other toys, exactly?  And I sat there thinking, “Can you define what you mean by ‘degree’?”  Knowing full well, of course, that she couldn’t.

“Oh, you’re so nice and quiet!” she said to me.  “I know you must have so many questions!”

Oh, yes.  So many, many questions, but you wouldn’t appreciate them, lady.  Allow me to go back to pretending that I think I’m ugly.

She said the same thing to me a few minutes later.  Wow.  You know what I was actually doing?  I was yelling bullshit in my head to each and every claim she made, and she made some whoppers.

You’d think all that would happen at this point is I would eventually leave, mildly annoyed, and let others go on with their whatever.  But no, still polite, still sitting, swearing like a sailor in my head and wishing this lady would stop shaking her bracelets in my ear.

Then it was time to actually try products.  Usually, I don’t like artificial products touching my skin.  I even make my own natural lotion and lip balm [stop judging me!] and use only mineral make-up.  But, hey, I’m already here, right?  What’s the harm in trying a product or two.  Clearly, I had momentarily forgotten why I went natural in the first place.  I was about to get one heck of a reminder.

We tried some cleansers and exfoliants from our little individual trays, all the while I was thinking, “I think I’ll stick to my all-natural soap and sugar scrub recipe, thanks.  It works better and certainly costs less.”  And then it happened.  She instructed us to put on eye cream which we clearly needed, even though at first I didn’t even know what to do with it, since I don’t have skin around the eyes problems.  Less than two minutes later, the skin around my eyes was burning.  I grabbed my cleansing cloth and desperately rubbed the cream away.

“Are you all right?” the lady asked me when she realized what I was doing.

“Yeah,” I said, a bit flustered.  “I guess I didn’t like something that was in the cream.”

Then it came time for foundation.  I watched her put it on other people, and even stupidly allowed her to put it on me.  I sat there listening to everyone at the table compliment the young woman next to me.  She kept saying that she’s not a girly-girl,  doesn’t like this, and only wears mineral make-up when she does feel the need for some.  Only, no one but me is listening to what she’s saying.  The make-up lady and everyone else at the table was telling her how great she looks with this new foundation!  How natural!  It looks like her own skin!

Let me tell you something, friends.  That poor woman looked like someone had smeared her face with thick paint or covered her skin with latex, and she clearly didn’t like it.  It was awful and uncomfortable.  She knew it.  I knew it.  But everyone else was so caught up in the fab-u-lous-ness of the occasion that no one noticed that she was clearly uncomfortable.

And my stupid foundation?  Well, it wasn’t long before my whole face was on fire and I was at the cleansing cloth again, scrubbing it off my skin.  Get it off, get it off, GET IT OFF!  My skin was burning and I was having some very unkind thoughts toward my friend at this point.  Thankfully, it was time for me to go.  The lady pulled me aside and asked if she could talk to me for a minute.  The polite, don’t make people upset middle child in me took control and said yes.  The next few moments were like that scene in A Christmas Story when Ralphie meets Santa, and Santa says, “How about a nice football?” and he just nods.  “Can I call you?”  Sure.

Wait…what just happened?  Oy, I’m going to regret that.

In the next few moments, skin still burning, feeling more than a smidge irritable, I woke back up when she–get this–tried to convince me to buy her products anyway!  She blamed my skin problems on trying product after she had us exfoliate.  I wouldn’t have the problem, she said, if next time I don’t exfoliate first.

“But you may just have sensitive skin,” she said, as if I was making the whole thing up.  “We have a special botanical line for people like you.  I’d love to do a personal consultation with you and talk about it.”

“Yes, but does your company have a line of natural products?” I asked, giving myself an out.  I knew they didn’t.

“Yes.  That’s our botanical line.”

“No, I mean all natural ingredients,” I said.

“Oh, yes.  We do.”

…Crap.

She asked to call me in the coming week to set up an appointment.  Another Ralphie-Santa moment overcame me and I said yes, I’d answer.  And then she actually tried to get me to sign up and be a salesperson, AND give up the names and numbers of my friends.  MWAHAHA!  Oh, you’re serious?  Nopenopenope.

I then hurried home to finish getting this crap off of my face.

When I got home, I ran straight to the bathroom and washed my face, yelling back to Husband what I was doing.  No good.  It was still on me.  I could feel it.  My skin felt like plastic and still burned.  I could smell it on my skin and hands.  Husband ran out to get me some make-up remover, which generally I don’t have to use.

“I’m just going to jump in the shower with this,” I said.

“Yes, please do,” he said, as gently as he could.  He could smell it on me, and it wasn’t a pleasant scent.  It smelled fake and horrible.  Other women at the table described it as “vanilla,” but they must have never actually smelled real vanilla.

I told him the story of what had happened.  How angry I was with my friend for not telling me that this wasn’t even her party.  How pushy the sales lady was.  How much my skin hurt.  How I hated everyone and everything in that moment.  He laughed at the crazy claims the lady made, comforted me in my discomfort, and agreed that my friend should have been a little more open with me.

The day after, my face still burned and felt really, really oily.  I have no intention on buying this company’s products or going near them ever again.  I looked up the “all natural” botanical line she spoke of and found that they are not even close to all natural.  In fact, they have some really scary ingredients.  Either she was lying or didn’t know her own products.  Maybe both.

So, we have a lady that’s pushing really unhealthy products, demanding that people that feel OK with themselves feel ugly or worry about coming ugliness, made really far fetched claims, and tried to convince me to buy products, even though I was clearly having a bad reaction to them.  Yeah, sure, sign me up.

Friends, if you are invited to a make-up party, please do research on their products and sales tactics before you go.  And above all remember this: these companies get money by making you feel ugly and unworthy.  No matter what your age, don’t buy into that nonsense.

Sqweel Go Review

~I received this item for free in exchange for an honest review~

I’m not ashamed to say that I enjoy receiving oral sex, but unfortunately sqweel1I’m one of those people that takes for-ev-er to get to clitoral orgasm, especially via the Husband’s tongue.  It is not unusual for me to take an hour trying to reach orgasm by cunnilingus, which wears Husband out so much it becomes not so sexy.  So when I was offered the Sqweel Go Oral Sex Simulator from Lovehoney, I was excited to try it.

A little bit about it: Sqweel Go, like it’s predecessor the Sqweel 2, is an oral sex simulator.  It is made with a plastic body and little silicone tongue-shaped paddles that spin around, imitating a licking motion.  It’s waterproof, rechargeable, has 3 speeds and 3 patterns (6 settings total) and comes in your choice of purple and pink, white and pink, and pink with lighter pink.  Don’t like pink?  Well… sorry.

What I loved: I’m going to have to start this off by saying that the Sqweel Go did not bring me to orgasm.  Not even close.  I’m getting that out of the way now so you don’t wonder why I’m not talking orgasm in the What I Loved section.

sqweel2

The Sqweel Go’s stimulation is unique.  I’ve not run across another toy with similar design, aside from other versions of the Sqweel.  And, it feels good.  Really good.  With a little bit of water based lubrication and a low setting, the little tongues do feel amazing on my clitoris and does wonders for getting me in the mood, even if I’m not starting with a sexy mindset.

Not only do the tongues feel good on my clitoris on low power, but they feel nice all over my skin.  It’s a feeling more solid than a tickle, but not quite as present as an actual tongue.  It’s gentle, soothing, and arousing.

What I didn’t: There are no orgasms to be found here.  None.  I tried and tried.  Nada.  I was even in the most sensitive and easily aroused stage of my 6-week lady cycle.  Nothing.  Oh, it felt pleasurable, but it simply couldn’t get me there.  When I tried the higher speeds, it felt really draggy, even with lots of lubrication, and not pleasurable at all.  Not even a little, and eventually it’s more uncomfortable than simply not pleasurable.  Think of it this way: rub your fingertips very gently along your arm.  Feels good, right?  Not orgasmic, but nice.  Now rub faster.  Now a little faster.  Doesn’t feel good, but it doesn’t hurt.  Keep going.  Add some lubricant, if you’d like.  Now how does it feel?  Maybe not painful, but kind of annoying, am I right?  That’s how the higher levels of the Sqweel Go feel to me.

And yes, because I’m sure someone will ask, I did use lubricant on it as instructed.

The Sqweel is supposed to be quiet, however, I was a little annoyed by how loud mine was.  I turned it on high, set it on the bed, and walked out of the room, shutting the door behind me.  I then went from my bedroom door to the opposite end of the living room (about 30 feet), and could still hear it whirring away.  Granted, there was no ambient noise in the house at the time and the noise could be drowned out by a TV or other electronic noises.  As another experiment, I turned it on high and went to Husband, who was sitting in the living room watching TV.  Without him turning down the volume, I asked him to listen to me carry the Sqweel away, and let me know when he couldn’t hear it any more.  It took roughly 15 feet before he couldn’t hear it.  Is that discreet enough?  Maybe.  It depends.  If there is a lot of noise in your house and you don’t have people hanging around outside your bedroom door, then yes.  Probably.

Final Thought:  I’m of two minds about the Sqweel Go.  On one hand, it completely fails me as a toy meant to bring orgasm.  On the other hand, it is an amazing foreplay toy.  Now, I know some of you may be thinking, “Hey, when you call a toy that failed you a good foreplay toy, that’s a cop-out!  That’s basic sex blogging!”  Yep, I get that, and I’m among the first to call BS on sugar coating reviews.  But in this case it’s actually very, very true.  It is useless to me as a toy to bring orgasm, but it is also very good at giving pleasurable sensations and getting me in the mood.  I sort of think of it like massage stones or edible body powder.  These things (probably) won’t bring the user to orgasm, but they do feel lovely and are nice to have around.  They are sex accessories–sexcessories?–which are nice additions to the toy box.  That’s how I feel about this toy.

For experienced toy users, the Sqweel Go will probably be more of a foreplay toy or just a nice addition to change up your routine.  For those that are looking to orgasm, I’d say you’d probably have to have a clitoris that’s on the sensitive side for this to work for you.

Want your own?  Lovehoney graciously sent me this one to review, but you can find your own here.  Sqweel Go not your thing?  Check out Lovehoney’s other clitoral vibrators.

~I received this item for free in exchange for an honest review.~