Tantus Adam O2 Review

~I received this item for free in exchange for an honest review.~adamo2

I have a thing for Tantus’s O2 line.  I’ve mentioned before that I’m impressed with the material when I reviewed the Cush O2.  It’s so touchable.  So squishable.  So different.  How could I resist the opportunity to review another O2 toy?  Tantus was kind enough send me the Adam O2.

A little bit about it: The Adam O2 is made of Tantus’s dual density silicone, with a soft outer and and a firm inner core.  It has a gentle G-spot curve, and is roughly 5″ around and 7″ long.

What I loved: The Adam brings together so many things that I love.  Not only is it silicone, but the curve is just perfect.  It’s not so much that it’s uncomfortable, but just enough curve that it hits my G-spot very easily without me having to contort and wiggle to try to get it to hit.

Even though the outside is soft, the inside is solid.  Since this is a G-spot dildo, and I need firm pressure on my G-spot in order to orgasm, the hard core allows me to use pressure, while the soft outer provides wonderful sensations.

What I didn’t: The Adam only comes in flesh-like tones (“cream,” “cocoa” and “black”), but I’d love to see it in some more wild colors.

Final thought: The Adam O2 sells for just over $108, but worth every penny.  Between the O2 material and the wonderful curve, the Adam is quickly becoming one of my favorite toys.  With proper care it will last a long, long time.

~I received this item in exchange for an honest review.~

Bedroom Misadventures: Episode 12

One of the very, very few adult stores in my area had their annual ladies’ night party.  They brought in games, raffles, vendors/manufacturers, and male strippers.  Everyone was super excited about the male strippers.  Apparently.

I perused among the games, but they were all casino-like games that I had no interest in.  Most of the other women there were having a marvelous time with them, though.  Now, to be fair, I knew ahead of time that’s the kind of games that would be there, but I wasn’t there for the games.  I was there to network with the many toy companies that were there, ’cause, I mean, blog.

I moved among the vendors, and was incredibly delighted that some of the reps knew exactly who I was, and chatted with me about all the changes they are making, new toys coming out, and offering me first crack at some new, exciting products.  It was a fantastic start.  When I moved further in the room, I met some other reps from companies I knew nothing about, but I’m all for trying out new companies.

One of the new-to-me companies presented me with some mini-vibes that they were excited about.  They didn’t seem all that interesting to me, and I’m the honest-but-polite type, so I handed back the small vibes and commented that the toy pouch they come in is cute. The rep made that his selling point, boasting that they are the first toy company to offer that kind of pouch.  Isn’t it fantastic?  Isn’t it amazing?  Isn’t it just fabulous?  Not really.  It’s a pouch.  A nice pouch, but still a pouch.  I don’t encourage my readers to shell out tons of money for a nice pouch.

Moving on through the vendors, I came across another company that I didn’t know about.  The woman behind the table showed me a tiny ceramic vibrator, made for the clitoris.  She waited for me to be wowed. I commented that I liked the color (it wasn’t pink.  That alone deserves a positive comment).  She placed it my hand and turned it on.  I guess this was the part where I was supposed to coo and ask if I could buy one, but I wasn’t impressed.  It felt very buzzy, not rumbly at all, like a typical cheap bullet vibe, just made of a better material.  I handed it back to her, told her thank you, but it’s not the kind of vibrations I like.  She made a face like I had just killed a puppy in front of her.

I finished making the rounds of all the companies I wanted to talk to (and I few that I specifically avoided), and just hung around for a while, waiting for the end of the night festivities: a big raffle and a bunch of male strippers.  Sure, why not.  I’ve never seen strippers, male or otherwise.  It could be interesting.

As I wandered from the vendor/manufacturer tables back into the main room where the raffle would be held, a well-dressed man stepped into my path and stopped me, which honestly freaked me out a little.  It felt kind of aggressive and more than a little off-putting.

“Have you been Kangaroo’d?” he asked me.


Then he shoved this in my hand.


Oh, so THAT’S how to make it easy to be a woman. I’ve been doing it wrong for years.


Uh…OK…  Weird.  One of my friends later asked me if I had in fact taken the little pill.  [Sarcasm] Yes, because I’m in the habit of taking pills given to me by strangers. [/Sarcasm]  No, of course I didn’t take it.  I didn’t know who this guy was, I’d never heard of the company, and didn’t remember the company name being rattled off the vendor list.

I joined a crowd of people and made idle chit chat with a late middle-aged woman with a deep tan and a bright sundress (I’m not making a negative comment on her clothing, so we’re clear.  I just happen to remember that about her).  She had an alcoholic drink in her hand, but I went out to the patio in search of a bottle of water.  I’m not really a drinker.  She followed me out, ended up running into me and spilling her [very cold] drink down my back.

The night was coming to an end and it was time for the raffle and male strippers.  There were a couple of good things in the raffle, so I stayed for a while.  They trotted out the strippers, blah blah, rippling muscles, no shirts, jumping around, blah blah.  The women around me were screaming, clapping, pulling out their cell phones to take videos and photos.  I watched the guys for a few minutes but then–and I may lose my lady card for this–I got bored.  It turns out that a hot guy in and of himself does nothing for me.  I moved to the back of the room, pulled out my phone, and texted Husband that maybe I really am a sapiosexual after all.  All the sceaming around me every time one of the guys flexed or did a rather hokey dance was actually getting on my nerves.

I ended up leaving early and giving my prize tickets to a woman next to me.  Did I have fun?  Well, mostly.  I met some great people from fantastic companies, and even though I didn’t find male strippers interesting, like, at all, it’s good to find out that’s not my thing.  I can avoid uncomfortable bachelorette parties.

And Then I Got a Piercing Part 5

Miss the other parts?  Find them here: Part 1 | Part 2 | Part 3 | Part 4

Once upon a time (in October, in case you are wondering), we had the brilliant stupid mildly questionable idea to have my nipples pierced.  It seemed like a good idea at the time, and as soon as I felt the pain, the piercing was done.  And the looked nice.  Sexy.  Pretty.  But the piercings came with a pretty high physical price tag: lots of aftercare and alternating between intense pain and annoying soreness for 2 months after the piercings.  By 3 months after, I finally felt OK.  Not bad for a piercing that can take a year or more to heal, I thought.

As time went on, things seemed OK, aside from the occasional embarrassing mishap.  They weren’t sore any more and I was able to change the piercings (even though the mere act of changing the piercings made them sore for a week).  I had to admit that they were pretty, sparkly and sexy, but I always felt a little sad at the same time.  Most of the types of nipple play I liked were completely out of the question, since playing with my nipples, even a little bit roughly, even a little, made me sore for days after.

And then there were the general problems.  The piercings sometimes got caught when I was toweling off after a shower or getting dressed.  Occasionally Husband would roll over in bed and pin one of the piercings, making me howl in pain.  Even though in my day-to-day life I had no problems, on the occasions I did, there was lots of pain.

A friend and his wife were asking me about my piercings and how hard they are to get done, aftercare, etc, etc.  I described the sensations, along with some of the problems I had.  I didn’t think I was speaking negatively about them, but my guy friend frowned.  “It sounds like you don’t like them very much.”

No.  Nononono.  Of course I like them.  Right?  Riiiiight?  But the more I thought about it, the more I realized he was right.  I was not in love with them.  They looked pretty, but they made me uncomfortable.  Worse, they made sexy nipple play pretty much a thing of the past.

A few days ago I rolled over in bed and found Husband awake.  I asked him what he thought about my nipple piercings, since he had once loved them so very much.

“I don’t know that I like them any more,” he said.  “I miss playing with your nipples without worrying about hurting them.  What do you think?”

“I like the way they look, but they’re always in the way.  All the time.  I’m tired of getting them hurt.  But once they’re out, they’re out.  The holes close up immediately, and they can’t be put back.”

“You can always get them repierced later if you want,” he said.

And so, they came out.  And I am so glad they did.  I really didn’t realize how much I hated them until they were gone and I was no longer snagging them in the shower or worried about Husband rolling on top of them in bed.

Will I get them redone later?  Honestly, probably not.  The healing process was long and gruelling (although a friend of mine who got her nipples pierced told me that she felt perfectly fine after a few days, compared to my few months).  I missed having my nipples played with in bed without worrying about getting hurt.  I missed not having to constantly worry about infection.  I’m not sorry I got nipple piercings, but I am done with the damn things.

Tantus Slow Drive Review

slowdrive~I received this item for free in exchange for an honest review.~

I squealed like a little girl at a boy band concert when I first saw the Tantus Slow Drive.  It wasn’t because it was made by Tantus (even though that’s awesome), nor was it because it was a shape I haven’t encountered (which is also awesome).  It was…sigh…because it came in silver.  Yes, I wanted it because of the color.  Stop judging me.  And it’s not a bad toy.  In fact, it’s a very good toy, but unfortunately, it’s not for me.  Let’s explore, shall we?

A little bit about it: The Slow Drive is a non-vibrating G-spot dildo with a dramatic G-spot curve.  It’s made of 100% silicone, and measures on the smallish side, coming in at roughly 4 inches around and 6 inches long (5 insertable).

What I loved: The color, the color, THE COLOR!  Besides that, the Slow Drive has some great things going for it.  The silicone is beautiful, glossy and shimmery, and of course body safe and easy to clean.  The tear drop shaped base is much easier for me to hold as opposed to the standard round bases.

The shape is absolutely brilliant.  The steep angle of the end hits my G-spot with very little effort and without me having to contort to get the toy at exactly the right angle.  I’d love to see more silicone toys with the tip curved like this toy.

What I didn’t: The Slow Drive loses a couple of points for me for two reasons.  First, it’s not quite long enough or girthy enough for me to really, really love it, but the angle of the tip compensates for it.  Plus, there is a longer version of the Slow Drive, if I really wanted it.

Second, and this is the big problem for me, it’s a little too flexible.  I need very firm pressure on my G-spot, but when I try that with the Slow Drive, it ends up bending.  This has been a problem in the past with other toys.  Was I able to orgasm with the slight flexibility of the Slow Drive?  Yes.  Was it easy?  No.

Final thought: The Slow Drive sells for $44, which in my opinion is a very fair price for a high quality silicone toy, especially one from a great company like Tantus.  And even though I can see the benefits of the Slow Drive, it’s not for me or for others that need very solid pressure on their G-spots.  I would recommend it, though, to those that are new to toys or only need semi-firm G-spot pressure.

~I received this item for free in exchange for an honest review.~

Vamp SIlicone Frida Review

~I received this item in exchange for an honest review.~frida

Silicone is one of my absolute favorite materials for sex toys.  It can be soft and flexible or completely stiff and with no give.  It can be buttery soft and velvety against my fingers, or create so much friction it pulls the skin.  And then when a myriad of colors are introduced, the possibilities are endless.

Several weeks ago I discovered Vamp Silicone, which offers toys in both soft and regular skin, and a wide range of colors.  The colors, above anything else, attracted me to them, and they were kind enough to send me a Frida for review.

A little bit about it: The Frida is made of 100% silicone, and has a wide but thin base and a small but very pronounced head.  It’s on the larger side, coming in at approximately 7 3/4″ long and 5 1/2″ around (by my measurements).

frida2What I loved: The first and most obvious thing is the color.  It’s so refreshing to have choices that aren’t either pink or purple.  The red and white swirls are simply gorgeous.

The Frida is within my perfect size zone.  It’s not so big that it’s challenging, but it is on the larger side, so it tends to hit all the good spots simultaneously.

The size and color are great, but there is one seemingly small point that makes the Frida unique among the many other silicone dildos I have.  It’s the shape of the head.  It doesn’t look like much, and when I took it out of the package I certainly didn’t notice anything special, but the head is different.  It’s smaller and more compact than the other toys I’ve seen of this size, but at the same time the ridge between the head and shaft are more pronounced and at a slightly sharper angle.  When I used it, this caused it to pop past my vaginal ring of muscles and G-spot, and back again, giving me easy and intense stimulation.

What I didn’t: The toy arrived with a strong smell that I interpreted as a cherry scent, but the manufacturer assured me that it is most likely the soap they use to wash their toys before they are shipped out.  The scent disappeared in a few days.

Final thought: The Frida sells for between $75-90, depending on the firmness.  Even though there are many standard silicone dildos out there, the compact yet pronounced shape of the head of the Frida allows this one to really stand out.

~I received this item for free in exchange for an honest review.~

FC2 Review

~I received this item for free in exchange for an honest review.~fc21

As a sex blogger I’m ashamed to say it, but when I heard people talking about the FC2 (aka the “female condom”) a few weeks ago, my first thought was, “Are those even still a thing?  I haven’t seen them anywhere.”  I started to look into them and what other people were saying.  Some people loved them, and some seemed to have a head-scratching, rage-filled vendetta against them.  Certainly this required some hands on research, and FC2 were kind enough to send me some samples to try.

A little bit about it: The FC2 is made of a non-latex synthetic rubber and made to be worn inside the vagina.  There is an inner flexible ring in the closed end that floats freely (see photo below), and a stiff yet flexible attached ring on the open end.  Since it’s non-latex, water, oil,  and silicone based lubricants can be used, both inside and on the outside of the condom.


FC2 wtih the inner ring removed

Experience: The first time we used the FC2, we weren’t sure what we thought of it.  It was difficult to get in, and there was a lot of friction on Husband.  We stopped so he could relube with some Sliquid water based lubricant, but the lubricant dissipated before long.  By the end of the first time we used it, we had come to the conclusion that there is some merit here, but it was going to take practice.

The good news is by the time we were going our second round with the FC2, we had found our rhythm.  We had just needed the practice.  Insertion and placement were much easier when I used some lubricant on the outside, and instead of using water based lubricant on the inside, we used silicone lubricant, which doesn’t need to be reapplied nearly as often.  With practice and the right lubricant combination, we were ready to really test.

What we loved: After a little practice, the FC2 really is very easy to use.  Do you remember the first time you ever used the standard male condom?  It’s kind of odd, you probably fumbled with it a little bit, but after a few times it was fine.  It’s exactly like that.

There is no question that the little bit of silicone lubricant that comes on the FC2 is simply not enough lubrication.  It does very little to cut down on friction.  After adding more silicone lubrication, Husband easily slid along inside the FC2 with no issues.  And this is important.  Because there was sliding against his skin (as opposed to there being sliding on the outside of a male condom), it was much more pleasurable for him, and he reports that as a result it feels closer to there being no barrier at all than the sensations with a standard male condom.

Oh, and did I mention there is this huge plus?  The FC2 can be inserted before foreplay starts.  Before there’s even an erection.  Before you get to the bedroom.

What we didn’t: For me, the feeling is slightly different than a male condom.  There is slightly, and I do mean slightly less sensation than I’ve felt with the standard male condoms, but it’s such a small difference that it’s almost negligible.

Final thought: The FC2 sells for $5-7 for a package of three, which admittedly is pricier than standard male condoms.  However, the trade off is a condom that can be put in ahead of intercourse, doesn’t rely on erection, and, in the case of dear Husband, provides a little more sensation than male condoms.  In my opinion, totally worth it.

~I received this item for free in exchange for an honest review.~

Sex Blanket Sewing Tutorial

blanket9(Update at the end of post)

Have you seen sex blankets around?  They are waterpoof or water resistant pads or throw blankets made for sex, because, well, sex is messy.  Lubricants, fluids, and even female ejaculate make quite a mess.  A fun mess, sure, but no one wants to sleep in the wet spot on the bed that showed up at 11:30pm on a Wednesday.

But many of those sex blankets are expensive, often $100+.  I tried to find something I could use instead, but was woefully disappointed.  Plastic mattress protectors aren’t particularly sexy.  Reading the reviews for big, waterproof blankets hinted at the fact that they aren’t necessarily waterproof.

I thought to myself, well, I’m crafty.  Seriously, folks, it’s amazing how many times I say that and end up just sewing something I love. I can probably just make one of my own design.  And heyyyyy…I bet other people will want to know how to do it, too.  So here it is, the tutorial I promised…

Waterproof Sex Blanket

No matter what size you intend on making your blanket, you can use these instructions for it, just adjust the size.  The basic steps are the same.  For simplicity for those not familiar with sewing, I’m going to tell you exactly what materials I used.  Also, you can make this project by hand if you don’t have a sewing machine.  If you do have a sewing machine, be aware that you will end up sewing through many, many layers by the time you are done.  If your sewing machine won’t handle that kind of load, just stitch by hand.

You will basically need 3 things: a soft, comfortable upper layer (the side touching your skin), absorbent middle layers (cotton is good; you can even use old towels if you choose), and a waterproof bottom layer.  I used double-sided minky fleece for my upper, several layers of birdseye cotton for my middle layer, and PUL (polyurethane laminate) for the bottom.

The following instructions make two blankets for a total cost of around $50, or about $25 a piece.  The blankets will end up being roughly 28×34″, unless you end up having to trim them up more than once (like I did…when the layers moved on me…)  In that case, they will be slightly smaller.

-1 yard of 60″ wide double sided minky fleece for the upper (or size and soft material of your choice)
-1 yard of 60″ wide PUL for the waterproof layer
-8 yards of 36″ wide birdseye cotton (this gives 4 layers per blanket), or absorbent layer of your choice
-Needles and coordinating thread.

Step one:
Wash and dry your fabrics.  Always wash and dry (following the care instructions) before you sew with them.  Always.  Press (iron flat) the cotton inner layer, but NOT the PUL or minky.  A hot iron could damage them.

Step two:
If you are using 60″ wide minky, cut it in half so you have two 30×36″ rectangles.  If you are using doing a custom size, cut it to whatever size you wish, plus a few extra inches.  Do the same for the PUL layer. [Note: The company I bought my PUL from had just a tiny bit left on their roll, so sent me a little extra, so I added an extra narrow strip.  Yours won't have that.]

blanket2Step three:
Cut the middle layers to the same size as the minky and PUL.  I used 4 layers of cotton birdseye per blanket to be on the safe side.

Step four:
Now you’re going to stack your layers.  If they don’t match up exactly, don’t panic.  We’ll trim them down in a minute.  Stack your layers in this specific order (if making two blankets, you’ll do this twice, once for each blanket):

-Place the minky or upper fabric on your table, right side facing up.
-On top of the minky, put the PUL face down (the shiny side should be facing you).
-On top of the PUL, place your absorbent layer(s).

If you are not a sewer, I know that order doesn’t make sense.  Trust me.  It will make sense in a minute.

Step five:
Pin your fabrics together so they don’t move.  If your edges don’t quite line up (mine never do), go ahead and trim the edges so they line up.

[Note: You'll see an extra, thin line of PUL on mine.  That's the remnants from the end of the bold from the store.  Yours won't have that.  Pretend it's not there.]


Step six:
Sew all the layers together using a wide seam, but make sure you leave a few inches together unsewn. This will leave a hole on the side. We’ll use that gap to turn it right side out in a few minutes.  If your sewing machine won’t handle all these layers, stitch by hand.

blanket4Clip your corners, but careful not to hit your sewing line.  This will give you a crisp corner when you finish your blanket.  Again, trust me here.  I promise.


Trim down the edges on the outside of the lines you sewed so they aren’t so wide, but be careful not to hit your sewing line.  This will make the seams less bulky.

Step seven:
Now we’re going to turn the blanket right side out.  Find the hole you left open.  Hold it open and arrange it so the minky (upper) side is in your right hand, and all the other layers are in your left (make sure the layers in your left hand stay together).  With this hole you created with the minky on one side and the other layers on the other, turn it right side out (think like a pillow case).


Take a pencil, pen, crochet hook, or something long and thin with a blunt or round tip (no, I’m actually not making a sex joke), and use it to push the corners out from the inside.  You’re going to have to put your hand in the hole for that.  Also not a sex joke.

Step eight:
Now we’re going to topstitch.  This is an optional step, but it helps hold the blanket layers together and makes it look nice.  A topstitch is just a line of stitching on the top of the blanket.  On this, it almost makes a ditch/gusset.  Make sure you catch the hole you left to close it up.


If you aren’t doing a topstitch, make sure you at least go back and close the hole you made when you turned your blanket right side in.

And there you have it!  Mine ended up roughly 24×30″.  Why did they end up so small?  Sadly, I didn’t pin my layers well enough and they shifted, leaving me to have to trim the edges back even again, causing me to lose a few inches.

But does it work?  Yes!  Of course we took our new sex blanket for a test drive, and it absolutely works.  The minky is soft and sensual against skin, and the absorbent cotton and waterproof PUL keeps any fluids from leaking down onto the sheets.

So, that’s it!  Any questions?

UPDATE: Some of my sex positive friends endeavored to come up with a great name for my sex blanket, since “sex blanket” doesn’t quite fit.  Putting their brains and puns together, they came up with the Screwvet (rhymes with duvet).  There you have it.  Screwvet.

Tantus Beginner C-Ring Review

~I received this item for free in exchange for an honest review.~

cring1Long before I started sex blogging, the only toys made to go on penises that I was aware of were horrible jelly rings that had a tiny, crappy vibrator attached that was supposed to (in theory) hit the woman’s clitoris.  Later there came better rings with better vibrators, and although I didn’t love these, either, they were at least a step in the right direction.  At the very least, I knew what they were for.

Many months ago, I received a review item from a shop, and in the box, under my review item, was a little silicone string with a metal slider, like a bolo tie.  I was dumbfounded what I was supposed to do with it.  It didn’t even have a vibrator.  And that’s when, much to my embarrassment, I had to have other sex bloggers explain what a non-vibrating C-ring, also known as a cock ring, is for.

Basically, a C-ring (or cock ring) sits at the base of the penis, or circles the base of the penis and the testicles.  Makers of c-rings usually claim that the pressure from the ring causes harder and/or longer lasting erections, and intensify orgasm of the wearer.

I never bothered with c-rings.  They sounded rather silly to me.  But a few months after receiving that little silicone tie in my box, I was at a class with Ducky Doolittle, and among the items discussed were cock rings.  My curiosity began to pique.  Maybe this was something I would like to try, and the rings from Tantus seemed particularly interesting, and they were kind enough to send me the Beginner C-Ring to review.

A little bit about it: The Beginnercring2C-Ring is made of a velvety (not glossy) silicone.  It’s about 2 inches in diameter and is made to go over the penis and testicles.  It comes in a choice of red or black.

[Note: For the following information, please keep in mind these facts: Husband is squarely in the average range for length and girth, and keeps his hair trimmed but not shaved.  He does not suffer from any ED issues.]

What I loved: I’m honestly very impressed with this little ring.  I wasn’t really sure that we were going to like it, but it’s quickly becoming one of our favorite toys.

Let’s start with the material.  I love, love, love velvety silicone.  I mean, glossy is perfectly fine, but I love velvety silicone.  It’s one of the materials that I will just sit there and play with in my fingers.  You may be thinking that I’ve said that before.  I have.  And it’s usually about some awesome silicone.

It took a little practice to get it on, since it’s such a new thing to us, but once it was on, Husband reports that it was very comfortable to wear.  It didn’t rub his skin, feel constricting, or pull hair.  Once it’s on, it feels surprisingly not constricting, and he notes that it works extremely well even though it’s not really tight on him.

The ring pushes his penis and testicles up and out, which is quite an erotic view.  This repositioning allows him to hit deeper spots in me easier with a lot less effort.  Plus, the ring really is excellent at keeping his erection steady and strong.  If I have to get up for a minute to get a cushion, or more lube, or handle some unforeseen issue, we don’t have to work on getting his erection back.  It’s still there.

What I didn’t: The C-Ring package claims not only to help erection, but also “enhance orgasms.”  Husband, however, says the ring didn’t change anything about his orgasm.  Not the intensity, not the duration, not the time it took him to get there.

The part that I didn’t like is that it’s in the right position to rub on the entrance to my vagina and slightly above it,  specifically around the vicinity of my urethra.  I can’t stand anything to rub, or even touch, that spot if I can help it.  It’s agitating, but the issue is mitigated with more lubricant, but I have to stop to relube.

Final thought: The Tantus Beginner C-Ring retails for just over $31.  Husband and I both give a thumbs up to this little ring, and believe it’s well worth having in our collection.  The repositioning of his penis and maintaining his erection make it well worth it.

~I received this item for free in exchange for an honest review.~


In the area where I spent my teen years and young adulthood, it was common to give teenage girls a teacup.  This teacup was a tangible representation not only of their sexuality at a time when they were becoming increasingly sexually aware, but was also a representation of their worth.

The instructions were simple: every time you had sex or went further sexually than you wanted to, you whacked the teacup and took a chip out of it.  You are broken.  Then you glued it back together and became whole again, but the scar would always be there.  You would always be a little bit chipped.  You did this every single time you did anything sexual.  Then, on your wedding night, you get to smash your teacup and don’t have to worry about being broken.

yesallwomentweetThe message that adults told themselves they were sending to the younger generation is pretty simplistic: it’s better to wait, prevent unwanted pregnancy, and STIs.  Waiting is always better, regardless of your sex or gender.  No unmarried person is meant to be having sex.  We females were told that not only we, but our partners should wait, too.  It’s the same message that’s been passed down for a long time now.  Only there’s this little problem going on.  The message they think they’re sending is not actually the message that’s being sent.

Let’s break it down a little.  This cup becomes the girl (I’m using “girl” here as this practice is often used with those that are not yet adults) and her worth.  If she has sex, she loses a bit of her worth and has to chip away at her very self.  Once the chip is glued back into place, the scar will still be there and she will have to look at it every time she sees the cup and remember that she lost a little bit of her value.  By having sex, she has become less worthy, less whole, less stable, and everyone can see it.  Not only does she see that she’s broken, she can see just how broken she is.

Now, a girl wasn’t only supposed to chip the teacup each time she had sex, but any time she went further sexually than she wanted to.  Was she bullied or pressured into sex before she was ready?  Threatened?  Coerced?  Tough noogies.  Chip that cup and show the world that you are broken and you are at fault.  You should have been stronger.

Each time the girl chips her cup, she gets a visual reminder about what a failure she is as a person.  If you’ve ever heard of this tradition, you may be thinking, “But the whole point of gluing the piece back on is to show you can be whole again!”  Yes, that’s true.  That is the point of gluing it back on.  But did you ever try to glue a fragile object together after it broke?  How did it look?  Unless the breaks were pretty dang clean and you have steady hands and the exact right type of glue, that object is always going to look damaged.  Now imagine an impressionable girl that has to look at her “failures” every time she comes in the room.  She gets to have an actual physical manifestation of what her world is telling her are her errors.  Talk about a self esteem booster.  I’m sure that will make her much more likely to stand up to pressure, riiiiiight?

In my mid and late teens, my teacup should have been in such a shamble it wouldn’t hold together.  But I never broke it.  I couldn’t.  It would be like breaking a bit of myself.  The mere thought of chipping the cup terrified me.  So I looked at it often, on the shelf above my headboard, completely whole but knowing it should be a Frankenstein-looking piece of ceramic.  It mocked me and told me of my guilt.

But what about the boys?  Surely they had a similar lesson?  I mean, if the message being sent is that everyone needs to wait, then the boys had to have had something similar.  MWAHAHAHAHA!  No.  Not even a little.  The area had no similar lesson for males.  Wasn’t really even discussed.

So, in a nutshell, here’s what we have:

What the adults think the lesson they’re giving is: Everyone should wait.

What the lesson actually is: A female’s worth is tied to her sexuality.  Use your sexuality, and become less valuable and permanently damaged.  As for dudes, well, they’re just supposed to rock on and let the females worry about being the gatekeepers.

I don’t think I’m ever going to give any girl a teacup.

Shiri Zinn Cupcake Review

~I received this item at no cost.~

cupcakeI’m not going to lie to you all: the cupcake vibe I’m going to review today does not have a particularly good reputation among sex and review bloggers.  And by not a good reputation, I mean it’s to the point where Toy Meets Girl composed a list of bloggers at the end of her review [WARNING: Link contains nudity], all of which are raging against this seemingly cute little vibe.

But I thought to myself, how bad can it really be?  I mean, really?  So being the honest toy reviewer that I am, I purposefully put out of my mind anything I’d heard or read about this toy.  After all, there have been toys that I’ve loved that other bloggers hated, and toys I’ve hated that they loved.  With that in mind, I went in to test this Cupcake with the firm belief that it can’t possibly be that bad.  Nothing is that bad.

Only, it’s that bad.

A little bit about it: The Cupcake vibe is made of silicone, has 2 speeds and three patterns, is not water or splash proof, and runs on 2 AAA batteries.  The bottom red spotted “wrapper” and the frosting are both made from a velvety silicone, while the cherry on top is made from a glossy silicone.


What I loved: The shape is very approachable for someone that is new to sex toys and wants something completely non-sexual in shape.  Well, it wouldn’t seem particularly sexual if it weren’t for the fact that the way the cherry looks on the icing kind of reminds me of breasts.  Now it does for you, too.  You’re welcome.

What I didn’t: Settle in.  We have some issues here.

First off, the included manual that comes with the Cupcake says it has 5 speeds.  Uh…no.  It doesn’t.  I’ve seen this kind of issue before with other toys, and it always annoys me.  But back on topic, the Cupcake does not have 5 speeds.  It has TWO speeds, and 3 patterns.

Second, how on earth do you even clean this thing?  The manual says it is not waterproof or splash proof, and you can not use alcohol to clean it.  Then how do you clean this thing after use? “Clean toy with a damp cloth only.”  No.  Just no.  The thing is, sex is a messy business.  It’s fun, it’s awesome, but it’s flat out messy.  There are fluids!  Lubricants!  And these things get everywhere.  A sex toy that can not be properly cleaned is a bad sex toy, plain and simple.  And I need my toys to be clean, so I used alcohol on it, anyway.  I’m a rebel.

Next, I don’t understand why the cherry on top is a different kind of silicone.  I’ve had glossy silicone toys before, and yes, they do have a bit of drag to them, but this is the most draggy silicone I’ve ever experienced.  It has so much drag that if I try to pull my finger across it, my finger won’t move.  For the part that’s meant to go against the clitoris (you’d think, anyway), for it to be that draggy and skin-pulling is not only odd, but unacceptable.

Now, let’s talk the vibrations.  They aren’t particularly strong.  I’m not going to call them incredibly weak, just not strong, and certainly not strong enough for me.  Further, the vibrations aren’t particularly felt where you think you’d feel them strongest.  You’d think they’d be focused on the cherry, or at least frosting, right?  Nope.  They are insanely weak there, to the point where I could barely feel it if I put it on my clitoris.  So, I turned it around and put the wrapper portion on my clitoris.  A little stronger.  Why would the vibrations be focused there?  Why?  But even more confusing, do you know where I felt the vibrations the strongest?  On the edge along the bottom of the wrapper.  Really.  Along. the. edge.

So, did I orgasm from it?  Ha!  No.  Not even a little.  At one point I thought I was going to orgasm, and thought to myself, “Well, this isn’t so bad,” and then I realized it had nothing to do with the vibrations.  When I looked down, I found that I had started rubbing it on me, and it was the rubbing that felt so good.  Screw the silicone cupcake, I can do that with my fingers if that’s what I wanted to do.

Final thought: The Cupcake retails for just under $50, and in my opinion, not worth it.  I even looked at some of Shiri Zinn’s other items to see if I could regain a little faith in them.  After all, it’s completely common for really great companies to produce a dud every now and then, but have a lot of other stellar items.  But I don’t understand some of the other products Shiri Zinn sells.  For instance, a dildo with crystals glued on.  I can only think what a pain it would be on your fingers and how hard it would be to clean.  And then there’s this vibrator with a tail.  Most of the toys with tails on them have been anal toys, but this isn’t shaped like an anal toy.  If this is supposed to be an anal toy, it’s an unsafe one.  But if it’s a vaginal toy, why the tail?

In the end, I’m going to have to say give this one a pass.

~I received this item at no cost.~