Black Friday Sales!

Happy Black Friday, everyone!  This year there are some amazing sales from some of my absolute favorite shops.  Take advantage of the amazing savings from some of the best sex positive places around!


Tantus has some absolutely AMAZING silicone dildos.  I’ve had several of them for years, still in perfect condition and still some of my favorite dildos of all time.


My absolute favorite sex toy shop!  A wide variety of really great toys at incredible prices!  Click on the banners or see all sales and clearance items for SheVibe here!


The BIG Shevibe Holiday Sale! Up To 20% Off Plus Free Shipping On All Orders Over $75! - Hurry - Sale Ends November 27th! 10% Off Orders $75 Or More! Use Offer Code: PAST ! 15% Off Plus Free Shipping On Orders $100 Or More! Use Offer Code: PRESENT ! 20% Off Plus Free Shipping On Orders $125 Or More! Use Offer Code: FUTURE !


Good Vibes

One of the early sex positive stores, this one keeps going with a variety of products.

Black Friday 20% Off Sitewide Sale! No Order Minimum. Minimal Exclusions.

Free Fun Factory Toy Bag with $89 Fun Factory order, plus Free Fun Factory Toy Cleaner with $129 Fun Factory Order! While supplies last.

Sale and Clearance Items

Adrien Lastic Symphony

~I received this item for free in exchange for an honest review.~symphony

I’m a big fan of wand vibrators.  Well, clitoral vibrators in general.  They are simple, easy to control, easy to position, and great unless you need particular pin-point stimulation.  There are so many different styles now, from big plastic monstrosities with wall plugs or small, sleek rechargeables.  Today we are going to look at the latter.

A little bit about it:  The Adrien Lastic Symphony is a smaller wand with a flexible head and ergonomic handle.  It’s rechargeable, splash proof (NOT waterproof), multi-speed and multi function.

What I loved: I love the simplicity of it.  It’s not screaming that it’s the new, most innovative thing out there.  It is a small, flexible, wand vibrator.  It does exactly what it was designed to do, and does it well.

The vibrations aren’t earth shatteringly strong, but neither are they pathetically weak.  I would say they are just right for someone as long as they don’t need extremely strong vibrations.  Maybe a solid 3.5 out of 5, with 5 being Magic Wand strength.  And the vibrations are quiet, which is so important.  However, be warned: if you really need STRONG strong, you probably want to look at something more like a Mona 2 or a Magic Wand.

The head is small enough that I can easily use it during partnered sex in the cowgirl (woman-on-top) position without it being too much of an issue, and the ergonomic handle makes it easy to reposition.

What I didn’t:  The vibrations, although not awful, as I noted above, could stand to be a little stronger.  But that wasn’t my main issue with it.

If you’ve been with me long enough, you have noticed that I really need to be able to put pressure on my clitoris in order to orgasm.  The Symphony has a flexible neck.  So the harder a push, the less happens.  To be perfectly honest, I have never had a vibrator where I thought, “You know what this needs?  To be able to bend at the part I am trying to position.”  It is kind of a problem for me, and one that makes it hard for me to use it if I am face up.  Face down I can use the surface underneath of me to stabilize it.

Final thought: At a retail of $65 from SheVibe, you could do worse.  The vibrator isn’t bad by any stretch, but neither is it anything that’s particularly special.  You should get it if you like wand shapes but are looking for something small or rechargeable, or if you like flexible toys.  For those with clitorises that need some extra vroom, I’d give it a miss.

Thank you to SheVibe for allowing me to review this toy!

~I received this toy for free in exchange for an honest review.~

OVO E4 Vibrator Review

~I received this item for free in exchange for an honest review.~

And now for something only slightly different, we are switching to the OVO E4 (the last OVO E4 Reviewreview was the E3).  Will it fare any better?  Let’s find out!

A little bit about it: The OVO E4 is a dildo vibrator made (partially) of silicone.  It is waterproof, rechargeable, and multi-speed and multi-function.  It’s really pretty basic as far as dildo vibrators go, with the exception of the strange plastic (I think it’s plastic?  Shiny like metal but doesn’t feel that way) backing.

What I loved: It’s a fairly decent clitoral vibe.  It’s a little too buzzy for my tastes, but it works.  Unfortunately, that’s about the best I can say about it.  It just kind of…works.

OVO E3What I didn’t:  My partner and I regularly test toys together so that I can see how they work for single masturbation and we, collectively, can see how they work in a hetero couple.  Neither of us were in love with this toy right from the start and it quickly was abandoned for better toys.

The vibrations, as I said before, are a little too buzzy.  Not completely buzzy like you would find in an $5 novelty shop bullet vibe, but still too buzzy for a toy that is trying to be more posh than it is.

Second, it is loud.  Not terribly loud, and you probably won’t wake the neighbors.  The advertising says it is whisper quiet, but most other similar toys are far quieter.  Again, not really what the company was shooting for.  When I took it out to play with it with my partner, we both marveled out the noise level, and not in a good way.

Third, for vaginal use I found it lackluster.  Upon insertion I felt pretty much nothing.  The shape is simply not a good fit for G-spot stimulation, having only an ever-so-gentle slope instead of other toys with very pronounced G-spot stimulating shapes and ends.

Final thought: Give this one a miss.  I simply find the OVO E4 to be…meh.  It’s not incredibly terrible, but it is certainly not great.  There are far better G-spot vibrating dildos out there that you will have far more fun with.

Thank you to SheVibe for allowing me the opportunity to review this toy!


~I received this item for free in exchange for an honest review.~

OVO S3 Vibrator Review

evo3~This item was given to me for free in exchange for an honest review.~

Here’s my favorite thing about my favorite toys.  You can use them during partnered or solo sex.  That’s what all of my favorite toys have in common.  They are g-spot vibrators that are awesome for clitorises, slim clitoral vibes that can slide in between people, quiet, strong and rumbly.  Unfortunately, the OVO S3, though has great shape potential, pretty much misses the mark on almost all points.

A little bit about it: The OVO S3 is a “lay on” vibrator made of a combination of silicone and…I believe the shiny part is plastic.  It’s rechargeable, waterproof, and multi-speed.

What I loved: The only thing I found that I truly like about this toy is that it is fun for foreplay, but not in the way you’d think.  I don’t like it on my clitoris, as it is too buzzy, but the buzz gives a great skin tingle, almost a prickly pain, but not quite that intense.  If you like sensation play, the shape of the S3 is a good way to go.

What I didn’t: I didn’t like pretty much everything else about it.  The shiny part keeps getting fingerprints.  I know, I know, that is not a thing that should bother me, but it does.  But that’s a fairly minor point.

Moreover, as a clitoral vibrator, it fails on many points for me.  It’s decently quiet, but that means nothing to me when the vibration is relatively weak.  I want it so badly to be stronger, but it’s just not there.  Not only is the vibration waek, it is buzzy, not a deep rumbly like I like.  Not only that, the buzz is almost painful, so that’s a definite drawback (unless you are into that).  If you are new to sex toys, think buzzy being something that would more or less just tingle the upper layers of your skin (or think old style cell phone vibration before there were smartphones), and rumbly is more deep down in the muscle.  This vibrator is definitely buzzy.  As my clitoris needs a rumbly vibration in order to reach climax, this simply doesn’t get there for me.

Final thought: The S3 could be worth it to you if you have a very sensitive clitoris, like buzzy vibrations, or if you are looking for something more for sensation play than climax.  It’s not very expensive, and SheVibe currently has it on sale at the time of this post for $34.99.  That’s not a bad price for a rechargeable, silicone vibrator.  However, for everyone else who needs something strong and rumbly, I would say give this one a miss.

Thanks to SheVibe for allowing me the opportunity to review this toy!


~I received this item for free in exchange for an honest review.~

Sense Max SENSEVIBE Classic G-Spot Vibrator Review

~I received this item for free in exchange for an honest review.~

It’s been a while since a reviewed a vibrator, and even longer since I reviewed a vibe that I could say I really, really loved.  To be perfectly honest, I’m going to say that what attracted me most to this particular toy wasn’t the shape or design or the features.  It was the color.  Yeah, I know.  I chose a toy because it came in turquoise.  Shut up and stop judging me.

A little bit about it: The SENSEVIBE Classic sensevibe reviewis a dual vibrator that stimulates both the clitoris and the G-spot, much like a standard rabbit but way cooler.  It is multi speed, waterproof, rechargeable, and made of silicone.

What I loved: I can’t rave enough about this toy.  Starting with the fact that it’s rechargeable and silicone (my two favorite words when it comes to toys), there are other great features.  The carrying case is also the charging port.  Oh, yes.  No poorly made baggie for this one!  The case is hard with a flip down lid, but unlike hard cases of other toys, this one doesn’t take up a ton of room.  The USB cable plugs right into the case for charging.

The vibe itself is quite strong.  Rejoice, sexy people, because there is a toy that says it is strong, and actually means it!  It has a deep, satisfying rumbly vibration with no buzziness.  Although it is not dual motor (or at least, not dual control), the vibration through the whole toy is greatly satisfying.

Normally, I just don’t go for dual stimulation toys.  My clitoris tends to be too far from my vagina to really make it work.  Except this one.  Just this once, a dual stimulator actually works for me.  Yes, there is a bit of tilting involved to get it to hit just right, but still.  This is the closest any toy has come to actually being a decent dual stimulator for my anatomy.

Finally, I use this toy a lot not only as a dual stimulator, but that tip is perfect for using just as a clitoral vibe.  Now, I hate to have my first review back to be so very, very positive, as if I’m just super happy to have another toy.  Let me assure you, that is not the case.  I really do find this toy to be this awesome, and it is now my standard go-to.

What I didn’t: Nope.  None of that.

Final thought: All kinds of worth it.  Shevibe has it for $129, which I know can be a lot to ask for a toy, especially a vibrator.  And if I had a cheaper comparable option?  I’d give it to you.  Hey, I’m a grown up, too, and I understand budgeting.  But what I can tell you is if this toy was stolen in the night by some turquoise-loving vibe robber, I would still spend my own money and go buy another.

Thanks to Shevibe for the opportunity to review this toy!





~I received this toy for free in exchange for an honest review.~

The Way Back (or, how a coloring book reminded me of me)

The divorce is over.

It was long, tiring, with many twists and turns and pitfalls that I never saw coming.  Regardless, almost a full year after the first filings, the end came.  And as a shuffled tiredly towards the finish line, I did my best to keep my spirits up and not think about the end of a relationship that lasted more than half of my life.

Eventually, I found work that I love.  I found a place to live that is the perfect size and  layout for me.  There was a lot of depression and numbness that set in over the long span between filing and finale, and feelings of inadequacy that were compounded when well-meaning friends tried to give what they though were helpful suggestions about smiling and choosing to be happy.  I already felt broken from the inside out, and it just added guilt on top of everything.  I know every comment I received from a friend or relative was spoken out of love, and they meant well, but I was already struggling to get out of bed.  It’s like asking someone near drowning, barely treading water, why they don’t break the Olympic record in the butterfly.

And now it is the end of things.  I no longer share his name, his bed, his life.  And I’m good with that, so now begins finding the way back.

Most of my life in the final days and the aftermath consisted of pretty standard adulting.  Taking care of the children, paying bills, having an opinion about gas prices.  I lost track of all the things I used to love, all the things that made me You Are Hereme.  And then I went to Target.

Although Target can be a sort of paradise, it’s always so sneaky.  I always end up in sections I didn’t need to be in and walking out with way more than I came for.  And this time, I ended up in the book section as my youngest son dragged me down an aisle looking for some little known book he had heard about on youtube that I was sure they didn’t have.  And then I saw it.  An adult coloring book called You are Here by Jenny Lawson, who you might know as the amazing Bloggess, writer of Furiously Happy and Let’s Pretend This Never Happened.  AKA the woman I first heard “depression lies” from (a phrase that was my mantra through all this).  AAKA someone that once upon a time I had brief online conversations with and was just stoked that she had given me the time of day.  AAAKA the funniest-yet-most-brutally-honest writer on the face of the fucking planet, you guys.  And here was a coloring book.  By her.  In the middle of Target.

The name sparked memories from those very brief and inconsequential interactions that I had had with her through my blog life.  My blog.  My people.  My tribe.  It all started to flood back.

I opened the book and found she also gets way more than she came for at Target.  But that’s not the point.  I flipped through it and saw illustrations that went so deep into my heart they imprinted there, along with pages of meme-like sayings.  “You will get through this.”  “You are not alone.”  “Weird on, you bad-ass motherfucker.”  And I laughed and felt comforted.  I remembered the before time when I knew I was a weird little soul in a great big world, and that I had never really wanted to be normal.  I no longer had to be what someone else wanted.  I was free now.

I bought the book.  Obviously.

And now, I’ve come back.  I’m activating this nonsense again and am ready for some shenaniganizing.  Reviews and sex positivity being served.  Here I am.  I am back, even though sometimes I still struggle.  Sometimes it’s hard to keep going.  Sometimes I still feel like a failure.  But sometimes?  Sometimes I don’t.


Black Friday, Cyber Monday, and Holiday Sales

Let’s get ready for some shoooooopping!  Listed below are the Black Friday, Cyber Monday, and Holiday sales as they come up.  Please note the dates on each one.

Most shops cycle through several different sales each holiday season, so don’t stop looking when Black Friday is over.  More deals are coming, and I’ll be updating this page!



Tantus is the maker of AMAZING silicone toys, and one of my favorite toy makers EVER.  Use code BLACKFRIDAY to get 40% off everything from now through Monday! (Excludes lubes, Joque Harness, Doxy Wands, and Magic Wands.)

They also have a standard sale (unrelated to Black Friday) choc full of fabulous toys that are aleady discounted.  You can find them here.

Want even more discounted awesome?  Check out the Grab Bag section.  Same amazing Tantus toys in surprise colors at a fraction of the price!



shevibebannerShevibe usually does a sliding scale, with up to 20% off.  I know this doesn’t sound like terribly much, but bear in mind that Shevibe has some of the lowest prices in the industry, so that 20% off equals huge savings!

Follow this list of prices and codes to get your discount! Good from now through 11/28

10% off $85 OR MORE use code KRINGLE10
15% off $100 OR MORE use code KRINGLE15
20% off $125 OR MORE use code KRINGLE20



Bonus deal! Buy $109.99 or more of Fun Factory merchandise (after discounts), and get a FREE toybox! Use code TOYBOX at check out.

Tantus Slick Large Review

~I received this item for free in exchange for an honest review.~

NOTE: The Tantus Slick has been discontinued.Tantus Slick Large Review

Tantus rarely has a miss when it comes to their fabulous dildos.  Colorful, versatile, artistic, and highly pleasurable is the Tantus way.  I’ve never had an issue with them, and I’ve tried a lot of Tantus toys.

A little bit about it: The Tantus Slick Large is a 100% silicone dildo, made out of O2 dual density silicone (flexible on the outside, rigid on the inside).  It comes in purple or black, is waterproof and harness compatible.

What I loved: The Slick is what I consider to be the perfect size and shape for me.  I have a thing for well-defined, bulbous heads in dildos, and usually recommend them to G-spotters like myself.  The head is perfectly shaped to slide right up against my G-spot.  The girth and length are big enough that it’s satisfying, but not so large that I struggle with insertion.

The shape is a little bit unusual compared to other dildos for two major reasons.  First, instead of the shaft being straight to the base, it tapers from larger at the base to narrow just below the bell of the head.  This is neither here nor there for me personally, but if you like a slow stretch, you’ll love this little design feature.

Second, the head is pointed, like a teardrop.  I found this makes insertion super easy, not only for vaginal penetration, but for anal penetration as well.  Mind you, I’m not a huge fan of anal penetration via dildo myself (plugs are more my thing if I’m in the mood), but I have used it to peg with a harness.  Anal play of any sort can be difficult, especially if you are a beginner.  [Safety note: follow all safety rules for anal play to prevent injury, and for great resources on pegging, read some of Ruby Ryder’s work over at Pegging Paradise].  But something my partner and I noticed is that the tapered, teardrop shaped tip makes insertion far easier than with a standard, rounded head.  And with it being harness compatible, anyone that incorporates strap on sex into their repertoire can rejoice!

The silicone is oh-so-lovely, and by far my favorite toy material, and I usually believe the less give, the better.  I like toys that are relatively solid (all the better to hit my G-spot with), but I always make an exception for Tantus’s O2 materials, which the Slick is made of.  The silicone on the outer layers is soft, pliable, and comfortable, while the core is more solid with just some give.  It’s the best of both silicone-wrapped worlds.

What I didn’t: If I had to pick a thing, I suppose I wish it came in more colors.  I’m partial to blue.

Final thought: Worth it.  It’s not too big, not too small, not to hard, not too soft.  Ok, yeah, it’s the Goldilocks of dildos.  Tantus lists it for $89, but silicone will last a lifetime with proper care.  If you are looking for a tried and true standby for your toybox, this it.

~I received this item for free in exchange for an honest review.~

The Waiting Place

“I want a divorce.”

I was standing in the kitchen when he said it.  I wasn’t shocked, but I was surprised with the bluntness, the force of his voice.

“But you’ll be ok,” he added quickly.  “It won’t be long before you get picked up.”

Picked up.  The words echoed in my head, and reminded me of a fraction of a movie I saw when I was a teenager while flipping through the channels on a lazy afternoon.  I don’t remember much of it, only that it was set in the late 19th century, and some selfish bastard was abandoning his pregnant girlfriend to shack up with a woman of better social standing.  “But it won’t be long until you get picked up,” the man had said.  “Picked up?  Whores get picked up,” the woman had replied as she burned the clothing he had left in her country cottage.

I would not be burning his clothes.  But I did for a moment wonder if he was calling me a whore.  No, I decided.  That’s not what he meant by picked up.  He was trying to be kind, in his way, but it still stung.  Still stings.  The casual way any of my future relationships was addressed.  Picked up.  And then I internally chastised myself for even using the word “whore.”  As a sex positive blogger and author, it’s not a word I really allow in my vocabulary, and have been known to stop conversations when someone else uses it.  But I couldn’t get it out of my brain, over and over, “Whores get picked up.”  It was the feeling of reduction of my person, like I was something that could be returned to the shop and bought again at a discount.

I had felt the rumblings coming, that strange awkwardness that accompanies the death of relationships.  It was compounded by his feelings toward me varying by day.  I wanted to save it, to save us, and tried to give him both the space he needed to decide how he felt about me while simultaneously trying to show that my love for him was still there.  A fine line to walk.  How do you give someone closeness and space at the same time?

In the end, our marriage was not salvageable, and he met me in the kitchen late in the afternoon to tell me he wanted a divorce.  I looked into the eyes of the man I had loved so deeply, and simply nodded.  Maybe I muttered, “OK.”  There was a sadness, a finality to it.  It was time to stop pretending it was all going to work out.  Time to stop hoping.  Just time to stop.

But there was a certain relief to it, too.  I could lay down my arms.  I could stop trying to prove my love, my affection, my loyalty, all of which had been recently called into question.  I could relax.  I no longer had anything to prove.  I could finally be done.  I shifted my focus to how to tell our children and how to best support them.

And then it came.  The Waiting Place.  That terrible, in-between space that the late, great Dr. S had called “a most useless place,” where everyone is waiting for something to happen.  My Waiting Place is colder, darker.  I’m not just waiting for something in particular to happen, I’m waiting for something to happen and I don’t even know what it is.  My entire life is changing.  For so long, so long, “wife” was as much a part of my identity as my name.  It’s what I was.  It’s part of how I defined myself.  And now I get to the part where I figure out who I am without it.

But in the meantime, I sit on a bench in the Waiting Place.  I’m here because I’m still job hunting, and have been for months, so I don’t know what kind of work schedule I’ll have.  We haven’t gotten to the meetings where we work out all of the nitty gritty of trying to divide the past twelve years into tangible and/or financial chunks, so I have no idea what the rest of my finances will look like, where I’ll be living, or what custody arrangements will be.  It’s all up in the air, all confusing, seeing the future through a haze of uncertainty and concern.  And that is my Waiting Place.  And it is a special kind of hell.

What no one tells you about being in the Waiting Place is that it has a lot of side effects.  Warning: sudden change in life circumstances and prolonged exposure to the Waiting Place may cause sleep disturbances, nightmares, exhaustion, crying, loneliness, and erectile dysfunction.  May also cause alarming change in behavior in others.  I am both getting a lot of emotional support and a lot of vitriol.  Some people that I would have considered close a few short weeks ago have shut me out in anger and feelings of betrayal.  Which, I mean… that’s confusing.  A few have asked me if the rumors they heard about me and the circumstances surrounding the end of my marriage were true (they weren’t, by the way).  Others have circled the wagons and offered their love and kind words.

So that’s where I’ve been.  I’ve been in the Waiting Place.  And every day is one day closer until I get out, look at the sun, and take a step into the new normal.

Crave Vesper Review

~I received this item for free in exchange for an honest review.~vesper review

Vibrator jewelry.  Just think about that for a second.  Vibrator jewelry.  Vibrators that look like honest-to-goodness, totally untacky, oh-he-ma-gee where did you get that jewelry.  For a long time, wearable vibrators were relegated to cock rings and buzzing panties, and later fingertip vibes, but none of these would be particularly welcome being seen on your person outside of the bedroom.  Or sex club.  Hey, I don’t know what you get up to in your spare time.  I don’t judge.

And then came the new kid on the scene: the Crave Vesper.  Wearable art that is classy enough to wear in front of your mother, but can make you come later.

A little bit about it: The Vesper is an ultra-slim, bullet style rechargeable vibrator.  It comes in 3 colors: gold (plated), rose gold, and silver (pictured), and each has a matching, removable chain.

What I loved: It’s a freaking amazing statement piece, you guys.  I love to dress it up with a nice shirt and wedges or dress it down with a solid tee and flats.  It’s kind of like what they say about diamonds: they go with everything.  I have never gotten more compliments on a piece of jewelry, ever, than I do with the Crave Vesper.  Friends ask to see it and want to know where I got it.  Strangers have stopped me to ask about it.  Seriously, it has become my absolute favorite piece of jewelry.

Oh, and it’s a vibrator, too.  Sometimes I forget that part because I just love it so much as a necklace!

As a vibrator, it’s extremely quiet.  Have roommates?  No problem.  You can have your orgasm and wear it, too!  You can barely hear a hum even if you are up close to it.  Not only is it quiet, it has a fascinating tactile pleasure.  The metal is very sleek, and since my fingers are slim, it feels pleasantly proportional in my hands.  I would liken it to holding a favorite pen that feels good to your fingers with just the right amount of weight.  Anyone that is a favorite pen kind of person probably knows exactly what I’m talking about.

The motor is surprisingly strong.  Really, I was not expecting it to be so powerful.  With the Crave Vesper being so tiny, I expected maybe a buzzy little affair, and not much better than a standard cheap bullet.  I was shocked when I turned it on and felt just how amazingly powerful the motor was.  The entire shaft right up to the tip vibrates, so there is no spot that doesn’t work as well, unlike some other vibrators.

I obviously love the Crave Vesper.  And I get super excited when I see other people wearing it or knowing what it is.  That’s the sex positive gal in me, who wants everyone to be able to experience pleasure on their own terms, including wearable clit stimulators.  As such, when I had lunch with a friend one day and she correctly identified what I was wearing, and told me about her own, I was overjoyed.  Because sex positive.  Vibrator jewelry.  Shiny things and orgasms.

In short, I get really hyped when I see other people wearing one, owning one, or taking an interest.  It’s like a secret handshake.  Like hey you, there’s something in you that I also recognize in me.  It’s pretty cool.  Because, I mean, we don’t get to wear our sex toys out for the world to see to show that we are who we are.  And that a product gave us a way to do that is awesome.  But…pro tip:  Not everyone wants to be called out on having one.  I was out one day when a woman walked by wearing the same model I have.

“Hey!” I said.  “I love your necklace!  I have the same one!”  I’m going to be honest, I wasn’t thinking.  She could not get away from me fast enough.  So rock out with your orgasm-inducing bling.  But address it on others with caution.

What I didn’t: Honestly, I have one complaint, and it is in no way the fault of the Crave Vesper.  I like pinpoint stimulation, and I like broad stimulation, but mostly I like something in between.  The Vesper is amazing for pinpoint stimulation, but it’s a little too pinpoint for me.  I need a little more surface area.  But my readers that have asked for something very direct and pinpoint, rejoice!  This is definitely for you!

Final thought:  Worth it.  So, so, worth it.  It’s jewelry.  It’s a sex toy.  It’s an amazing piece of functional art.  And I kid you not, is my new favorite thing.  If you want your own wearable, sex positive handshake, or you really, really like direct and pinpoint stimulation, or both, pick one up!

Thank you to Shevibe for sending this to me!