Ultimate Guide to Kink Review

Ult GT Kink

~I received this book free of charge.~

Back when I wrote my Bondage Bow review, I mentioned that experimenting with kinkiness is no longer considered a mental illness, medically speaking.  That’s great news for worried bedroom adventurers everywhere.  But let’s say you want to try on a little kink or some BDSM and want for a reliable resource of information.  That’s where The Ultimate Guide to Kink comes in.

A little bit about it: The Ultimate Guide to Kink is a new volume from Cleis Press and edited by renown author, sex educator, and film maker Tristan Taormino.  The book itself is a collection of 20 essays by different authors that discuss everything from rather tame role play fantasies to playing with pain to D/s relationships.

What I loved/Didn’t love:  Usually my love/didn’t love in reviews are separate sections.  Of course they are.  They’re different things.  But this time the lines are more blurred.

As a little disclaimer, I have to say that this review was the most difficult one I’ve ever had to write.  I’ve been dragging my feet on it for months, and when I finally sat down to write it, I developed a pounding stress headache.

You see, the problem is I loved this book.  Then I hated it.  Then I loved it again.  Then more hate.  The thing is that since the articles are all written by different people with different interests, areas of expertise, and writing styles, it’s hard to review the book as a whole.

Some of the chapters I found incredibly useful for where we are in our sex lives right now, but other chapters made me so mentally uncomfortable, I couldn’t finish reading them.  Likewise, some of the writing styles really spoke to me and I felt like a friend was discussing sex tips with me.  In other chapters the style and word choice was incredibly distracting and jarring.  Some of the chapters even seemed to blur the lines between informative essay and erotica.  For most people that’s probably neither here nor there, or maybe even a positive point, but for me it was distracting.

With all of what I just said it probably sounds like I hated the book.  I didn’t.  In fact, I think it’s a pretty darn handy guide for anyone looking to spice up their sex lives and includes everything from tame (in our house we call this “fuzzy handcuffs stuff”) to the taboo (age play, sex parties, etc).  It’s just very hard to take as a whole.

I will say this about it: even though no single book can cover every single topic, The Ultimate Guide to Kink comes pretty darn close.  At the same time, it’s that kitchen sink inclusiveness that made it hard to review.  However, if you are interested in kink, or just think you might be, and want a resource that covers just about everything you could think of, then this is your book.

Final thought:  Although I highly doubt many people would find all the information in this book useful, it is called the ultimate guide for a reason.  We did learn about some fun things to try from the book, while other suggestions are a hard no for us.  I predict it will be so for most people. But there is one pervasive fact about this book that pushed my opinion from uncertainty to positive: whatever you’re into, whatever you try, the authors want you to do it right, consensually, and safely, and constantly remind you of this throughout the book.

~I received this book free of charge.~


Ultimate Guide to Kink Review — 2 Comments

  1. I find it odd that it’s called a guide when it’s really more of an anthology, but it sounds like an interesting read nonetheless.

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