Friends of ours were celebrating their 20th anniversary by having a 3-day-long getaway with some of their closest friends, Husband and I included. The hosting couple knew that I’m a little shy, and to my surprise, had already told many of the other people coming that I’m a sex blogger. They had come up with a cunning plan: since the other people in attendance were the curious and adventurous types, the hosting couple asked me to bring a bag of toys and do a little adult sex ed. Sure, no problem. I would later find out that their ulterior motive was to get me talking in a group setting by dangling a subject that I’m passionate about in front of me. They already knew that nothing gets me out of my shell faster than talking about sex and sex ed.
The day before and the day of our departure, there were sex toys charging all over the house. [The kids weren’t home, of course.] I packed, unpacked, and repacked my sex toy bag several times, trying to figure out what would be the best ones to take to people that may not have even owned a sex toy before, or, more likely, had only owned jelly toys and inexpensive bullet vibes. I ended up taking a few examples of everything.
On the evening of the first day, the hosting couple sat me down on the couch in the living room of the biggest hotel suite I’ve ever seen, handed me my bag of toys, and sat down on cushions on the floor with all of the other guests. Fourteen excited faces looked back at me. I knew a few of the people, but most were new to me. Either way, it felt like story time in a very strange kindergarten class.
The last time I had given a presentation to a group was for my speech class in college, which had the same number of people I was looking at now. I remember my nervousness and horror, stumbling over my words years ago. But now I sat in front of a group, half of which were in their pajamas, with a huge bag of sex toys sitting next to me, and I had never felt more comfortable. It all seemed so very normal.
I gave the general talk that many sex bloggers and good sex ed people do when they talk about toys: stay away from jelly and other porous materials, stay away from lubes with glycerine if you are prone to yeast infections, it’s not a good idea to use silicone lube with silicone toys, if you are going to do anal play then use a toy with a base, here’s a list of safe toy materials and companies you’ll want to use…you know, the usual.
Then the nitty gritty. I talked about why certain toys are better for g-spotting than others, why many of the dildos (in this case, particularly Tantus dildos) have such a wide base, and why for some toys (*cough* We-Vibe 4) the position of your G-spot and clitoris matter. Then of course there was some pleasure anatomy discussion, because, well. It’s important.
As I finished discussing each toy, I handed them around. There were oohs, ahhs, the occasional awkward giggle, and questions that I was more than happy to answer. In the end it was a great success, and I was surprised at just how comfortable I was doing it.
Weeks have gone by, and I still occasionally get texts from those that were in attendance about toys and sex ed in general. In fact, I just introduced one of them to female condoms a few days ago. A few friends have joked that I missed my calling as a sex educator. Hm. Maybe I’ll do just that eventually.