We-Vibe 3 Review …maybe part 1?

~I received this item at a 30% discount in exchange for a review on another site.~

Husband and I were so very excited to try the We-Vibe 3.  There was so much hype around it being one of the best couple’s toy ever.  It has to be something awesome, right?  Well…maybe not.  In fact, I don’t know that I can even write a proper review on it, so, for the moment, here’s the lowdown.

The We-Vibe 3 is marketed as a couple’s vibrator.  It’s a U (or C) shaped vibrator that is made to have one arm sit on the g-spot, and the other arm on the clitoris, and used during sex.  It’s waterproof, rechargeable, comes with a plastic storage case and a remote (but there’s a button on the vibrator itself if you lose or break the remote).

We-Vibe 3 @ Rollinthehay.blogspot.comFirst off, the initial charge takes 24 hours and I am not a patient person.

Second, as far as the actual use goes, Husband and I gave up in about 10 minutes.  The vibrations are weak.  The We-Vibe slipped all over the place and wouldn’t stay put.

I’m disappointed.

A lot.

We-Vibe 3See, if it doesn’t stay put, there is no point to the thing.  I mean, I know that it is somewhat anatomy dependent, meaning it won’t work for everyone, but I think Husband and I are pretty typical.

For the moment, we’ve stopped using it, with the intention of picking it up again when we feel less frustrated with the thing and seeing if we can somehow make it work.  In the meantime, I’m sticking with the We-Vibe Touch.

~I received this item at a 30% discount in exchange for a review on another site.~

It’s here, it’s here!

A plain brown box has just arrived at my house.  In it contains the ever-so-much buzzed about (no pun intended) couple’s toy, the We-Vibe 3!  What’s all the hubbub about?  Well, the We-Vibe 3 (along with it’s former incarnations We-Vibe 2 and just the We-Vibe, and not to be confused with the We-Vibe Touch), is one of the few high-end, quality toys on the market that is designed specifically for couples!  And, I kid you not, it has a remote.  Really.  And it’s rechargeable!

So, you may be asking, where is the review?  Unfortunately, the initial charge takes a full 24 hours, so I’m trying to be patient and not fiddle with the buttons or remote before that point.  It’s hard.  I’ve already turned it on once to see what it does.

I Love You…Too Bad You’re Broken

Over a hundred years ago, Sigmund Freud declared some really crazy, and downright wrong things about female sexuality.  Among these little tidbits, Freud decided that an orgasm by way of the clitoris is “immature” or “adolescent,” and an orgasm by vaginal stimulation from her husband is the “mature” way to have an orgasm.  To this day, many men describe women as “frigid” because they don’t orgasm from vaginal stimulation alone.  This has led to women feeling ashamed and their partners feeling angry and frustrated.

Here’s a fun fact: Freud was dead wrong.

The truth is that only around 30% of women can orgasm from vaginal stimulation alone.  That leaves 70% to be “frigid.”  In other words, although both ways to the big O are normal, it is more common to not be able to orgasm from vaginal stimulation alone.

My early days with Husband were incredibly frustrating in this area.  I wanted to O through what I believed was the “normal” way, i.e. without any clitoral stimulation.  I tried, he tried, we tried.  Frustrations and anxiety flared.  I was still living in the realm of “All women can orgasm from vaginal stimulation.”  Did that mean something was wrong with me?  Was I broken?  Was Husband angry with me that I couldn’t do this very normal thing?  Would he hate me for it?

After a few years, I ran across the actual numbers, and they showed that there was nothing wrong with me.  I was perfectly normal.  Excited, I showed the statistics to Husband, who also came around to the realization that it had nothing to do with me, or him, or us.

So if it is now proven that not having a vaginal orgasm is normal, and also having a vaginal orgasm is normal, why does the myth perpetuate?  Well, one reason could be the prevalence of and easy access to porn, which some people seem to view as a source of information.  But that alone wouldn’t do it.  It’s that PLUS the lack of education about the way a female body works.

Think back to your sex ed days.  Do you remember what you learned?  Here’s how my class can be summed up:

  • Here’s a cutaway diagram of a male and female and what the reproductive parts are for
  • A baby is made when sperm comes in contact with the egg and grows in the uterus
  • Here’s how to put a condom on a banana
  • These are the horrible things that can, and likely will, happen to you if you have sex

Notice the glaring lack of the words “orgasm” and “clitoris.”  They’re not necessary for procreation.  They don’t get sick.  They don’t need to be treated.  They are simply words that have to do with pleasure, and that has no place in education, apparently.  So where are young people getting the information?  From erotica and each other, both generally reeeeally wrong.

I really hope some day the education will be better.  I fully believe it will lead to less frustration from husbands and shame from their wives.

Source: I Love Female Orgasm by Dorian Solot and Marshall Miller

My Favorite Part

Life is hard, no?  Stress with kids and school, worries that I’m not as good of a wife and mother as I’d like to be, exhaustion from the every day duties.  Don’t get me wrong, I love my life.  Every bit of it.  But that doesn’t mean that it doesn’t get to me sometimes.

I live for the last moment of the day.  The time when I fall into bed with the man I love more than anyone I’ve ever loved.  As we snuggle against each other, the stress, worries, and care of the day can’t even find us.

Frustrations

I’ve been trying to find like-minded blogs to add to my blog list, and having a huge amount of trouble doing so.  I’d love to find some Sex & Marriage blogs, but can’t seem to do so.  Scouring Google hasn’t led me anywhere productive.  Most are either opinion columns about same sex marriage or where different religions stand on sexual issues.  Although I am religious (“WHAT?!”  Yes.  Stay focused), it’s not what I’m looking for.  Just looking for sex blogs or sex toy blogs lead me to all sorts of crazy places.  Though I have found a lot of blogs with really great sex and toy information, I haven’t been able to find ones that are like what I’m trying to do here at Rolling in the Hay.  They’re out there somewhere.  They have to be.

And why shouldn’t they be?  I mean sometimes I find cutesy blogs or articles that just skim the surface about sex and marriage.  But sex, marriage, and sex toys?  I’ve only found one that fit the bill without being, oh, let’s say interest specific, like people that actually live the slave/master fantasy in all areas of their lives.  Not…quite…what I had in mind.

Anyway, in my looking, I came across a very brief article called 5 Reasons to Hate Sex Less.  Whoa, boy.  Flag on the play.  Even though there was some good, although shallow, information there, I had so much trouble getting over the title.  Am I, as a woman, a married, healthy, adult, consenting woman with *gasp* children supposed to hate sex?  Who on earth made that rule?  Are we still stuck in the days of lie back and think of England?  I mean, someone close to me did tell me once that Husband and I have sex too often.  The statement confused me.  Her definition of normal frequency was somewhere between twice a week and twice a month.  Maybe that’s normal for her, but not for us.  To this day, I don’t understand why she thought my number was odd.  I won’t tell you what the number is, but it is more than twice a week.  Another woman I knew thought the only sex position was missionary.  Wow.

I’d call for more sex ed, but I don’t know that it would help.  I mean, even in sitcoms, you always see the husband begging the wife and the wife shutting him down.  Does that seem right to you?  It doesn’t to me.  If he’s in the mood, and I’m not, I try to get there.  He does the same for me.  Generally, we both end up having a great time, even if it takes a little to get going.

Am I odd for being a married woman who enjoys my husband?  I don’t think I am.  I think it’s more likely that there are women out there that are somehow afraid to enjoy sex or afraid to admit they do.  The idea of sex toys must be downright terrifying to them.

Coquette Corset 1063 Review

Coquette Corset 1063 Green

~I originally got this product at a 30% discount in exchange for writing an honest review off site.~

I don’t have many pieces of awesome lingerie.  In fact, it’s been a long time since I’ve bought anything for myself just because it was pretty.  But then I saw this corset.  Coquette Corset 1063.  I mean, really, how gorgeous is it?!  I couldn’t resist getting it, but had to wait for a whole month to buy it, as it was out of stock in my shop of choice.  I purchased mine within hours of it coming back in stock, and they are already gone again, less than a week after the restock.

A little bit about it: The corset is made of polyester and is handwash only.  There are hook and eye closures at the front (one row of hooks, two rows of eyes for adjustment), and the laces for tightening are at the back.  The boning is plastic, and contains ten bones in all.  This cutie comes with detachable shoulder straps, detachable garter straps, and a bow (unties but does not detach).  It does NOT come with stalkings or bottoms.  The packaging is very simple: hanging from a fabric wrapped padded hanger and covered in plastic for protection.

Green Coquette Corset 1063 back

Coquette Corset @ arollinthehay.comWhat  I loved: When I picked this up, I was pleasantly surprised by how heavy and solid it was.  It just felt nice.  Well made.  There is no stretch to the fabric, so no worries about it bulging out at an unflattering part of the body.  However, because of the lack of stretch, the back laces must be adjusted.  An extra set of hands is necessary for this.

I loved the length.  It came down as far as an average shirt on me would.  I stand at 5′ 6″, which is slightly taller than average, and so worried that I’d end up with a midriff-bearing piece.  I’m so glad I didn’t!  And, the boning and shape give me a nice hourglass shape that I loved without making my shape look artificial.

What I didn’t:  There is no bust support!  None!  Nada!  No underwire, no molding, nothing.  Although the corset has some minor bust shaping on the top (it bows out at that point), it can’t be called support.

It’s very hard to sit while wearing this.  Very hard.  The stiffness and boning holds you upright.  However, that can’t be helped.  To make it more flexible would take away some of the shaping abilities.

The front is kind of stiff, so every time I got one hook through the eye, another hook came back out.  This caused a lot of frustration for me, but Husband is able to stand in front of me and do the closure easier and faster.

Final thought:  I love this corset.  It’s gorgeous and feels great.  Photos don’t quite do the color justice.  I find my biggest complaint is the lack of bust support.  If that were fixed, I’d give it a full 5 stars.  As it is, 4.

~I originally got this product at a 30% discount in exchange for writing an honest review off site.~

Contraceptives and Hygiene Get Hilarious.

Female hygiene @ Rollinthehay.blogspot.comApparently, many decades ago, women used to use Lysol as a feminine hygiene product and contraceptive.

Holy crap.

Now, look, I understand the whole idea that the 50’s weren’t the most sexually and medically enlightened period, but, I mean, seriously???  Lysol was used for that?  I mean, I would guess that modern Lysol is stronger and not the same formula as it was back then (I’m guessing), but even knowing that, I can not wrap my mind around such a thing.  Who sees a can of Lysol and thinks, hey, that’d be great for cleaning my hoo-hah and preventing pregnancy?

It turns out that once upon a time, it was marketed as a feminine hygiene product.  Of course, now it is used for household cleaning and we know that it should never be used as a hygiene or contraceptive product.  EVER.

This shocking knowledge came from reading the post Squeaky Clean Restores Marital Harmony: Say What? over at Bombshells and Rockstars (they have excellent toy reviews, by the way).  They even posted a graphic of an advertisement from that era that says, among other hilariously sad things, that a woman should question her hygiene if her husband’s love for her begins to cool.  Oh, 1950’s, you so crazy.  I mean, it’s bad enough that it was used as a contraceptive, but advising women to douche regularly?  Ha!

But maybe we aren’t as enlightened as we’d like to think.  A few weeks ago, I saw on a sex and health forum that I haunt that some people were still curious about douches.  I told this to Husband, who immediately said, “Wait, aren’t those bad for you?”

All this led me over to a Chicago Tribune article entitled, 10 Things You Might Not Know About Contraceptives.  A fantastic, sad, and hilarious read.  My favorite is number seven, which said that women in the middle ages were advised to spit three times into the mouth of a frog to avoid pregnancy.  Oh, middle ages, you also so crazy.

The Hitachi Review

Remember when I talked about my first toys?  Questionable material, poor quality, and so forth?  Another big issue I had with these toys were batteries.

I firmly believe that batteries are the bane of toy play.  More than once I had batteries die on me at a really bad time.  It wasn’t too bad if I happened to have rechargeable batteries on hand, but I didn’t always.

Hitachi Magic Wand @ Rollinthehay.blogspot.comWith my hatred of batteries in mind, a few years ago I started to look to see if there was a toy that plugs in.  That’s when I came across the Hitachi.

A little bit about it:  The Hitachi Magic Wand is an external massager/vibrator.  It is not waterproof, so any use with it must be careful.  The white head, roughly the size of a tennis ball, is made of a wrinkly…plastic?  Rubber?  What you get if plastic and rubber had offspring?  Anyway, underneath the head is a blue, semi-flexible neck, followed by the long, hard plastic handle with the two speed switch (high and low).   The Hitachi is roughly 12 inches from the top to the base, with a 75 inch (6 1/4 feet) cord.  It plugs in, so no worries about batteries.

What I loved:  Talk about power.  Lots and LOTS of power!  I won’t lie, this is the strongest vibrator I have ever owned.  It makes the big O nearly a sure thing for me.  That is the only thing I love about it.  The strength.

What I didn’t: The cord may seem long at over 6 feet, but from outlet to bed…that’s not a lot of slack.  I’ve accidentally pulled it out of the outlet more than once.

There are only to settings on the vibrator, and even the low setting is stronger than most other vibes.  I find it’s easy for me to get used to the power of the Hitachi, and be harder (for a while) for me to use weaker vibrators.

For couples play, this thing is huge and most certainly gets in the way.  In woman-on-top (cowgirl), we can make it work, but we haven’t been able to find any other position we can use it in.

Final thoughts:  I’ve noticed that almost everyone one screams that the Hitachi Magic Wand is an item that every toy box must have.  Personally, I think that although the Hitachi is pretty good, it does have it’s limits.  The cord is annoyingly short, it can’t be used internally (without a special head attachment), it’s big, it’s heavy, it’s not great for couples play.  I find that I just don’t need vibrations that are as strong as Hitachi.  On a scale of 1-5 of vibration strength, the Touch is on a low 4 on the highest setting, while the Hitachi is such a high 5 that it is barely on the scale.  I find I don’t mind a 4.  I also find there are better shaped toys out there for sex play…but then again, technically speaking, the Hitachi is supposed to be a muscle massager.  I’m curious as to how it became hailed as the do-all, be-all of sex toys.

The Hitachi is fun to have.  But as far as the idea that it is the one and only toy you’ll ever want…I just don’t think that’s true.  It does what it does and does it well, but it there are others out there.  It just doesn’t have to be the center of the toy world.

In the Quiet Moments

I’m having one of those extremely rare occasions when I pretty much have the house to myself.  The only noises are the hum of the air conditioner and the mechanical noises of the dishwasher and washing machine.  Do you know that when I’m up late I tend to do housework?  True story.

I’m thinking about what toy to review next and when I want to post it.  And then I start thinking about sex ed, and how it is probably coming up soon at school.  Husband and I are in agreement that we’d like to be the ones to have “the talk” with with our kids and we want it done before they go to be “educated” about the birds and the bees with their giggling peers.  I mean, really, we all know there are pretty important facts missing from sex ed…like what a clitoris is.  It seems to be a part of the anatomy that’s just glossed over.  Or at least that’s how I remember it.  I also remember the teacher explaining that the sperm comes from the man, the egg from the woman, and when they unite, ta-da! there is new life.  I remember understanding that, but being confused on one point: exactly how does the sperm get from point A to point B?  So I asked.

I have never before or since seen a teacher turn colors and stumble over words while answering a direct question.  And yes, she did answer it, but it made her extremely uncomfortable.  I don’t think it should be that way.  I mean, I’ve known people that as children were sure that the euphemism “sleep together” meant exactly that, and a baby could be the result.  But then again, these are my kids, and I have another few years before I have to think of them as freestanding sexual beings.  *Shudder*

But we are such amazing creatures, aren’t we?  Shouldn’t we know how our bodies work?

As a fun fact, you’ve now gotten a peek into how my mind works.  Do you see how we got from laundry to the birds and the bees?  Late night housework—>thinking about what else I need to do—>need to post on the blog—>sex—>upcoming sex ed classes.  Fun on a bun.

The MiMi Review

NOTE: This review is for the MiMi Classic, not the MiMi Soft.

Ah, the MiMi, clitoral vibrator by Je Joue.  Remember when I said that the Touch was my first successful foray into luxury toys?  Well, the MiMi was the first luxury toy I ever owned, unless you count the Hitachi (I don’t, but more on that in another post).  But I wouldn’t quite call it successful.  Not completely.

A little bit about it: The MiMi is a silicone (or silicone covered plastic?) external clitoral vibrator.  It’s rechargeable, attaches to the charger with magnets (how cool is that?), comes in a variety of colors, and just feels so darn elegant in my hand.  It looks a bit like a squashed egg shape, with the control buttons and charger port being on the widest part of the narrow edge.  Two buttons allow me to cycle through 5 vibration modes and 5 patterns.

Like all silicone toys, there is a down side: silicone toys should never touch silicone toys and silicone lubricant should never be used with them.  But I’ve said that before.  Moving on.

What I loved: The first thing I fell in love with, no joke, is the packaging.  An elegant black box with silver printed letters, no pictures.  Ok, there was an outer cardboard box that had the photo and all the info, but I’m talking about the inner storage box.  No naked porn stars.  No crude wording.  Just elegance.  Ahhh.

The vibrations aren’t insanely strong, like a Hitachi, but are strong enough to get me there and with style!  If you are used to cheap toys, you will be pleasantly surprised by the vibrations and luxury of the MiMi.

The flat-ish shape of this piece of awesome made it perfect for sitting between Husband and I in the woman-on-top (cowgirl) position, but with him on top it hit our pubic bones pretty dang painfully.  That being said, it is light enough that I can hold it on my clitoris in a variety of positions without it getting heavy.

Both the narrow and the broad sides of the MiMi provide stimulation, so whatever I’m in the mood for, it’s covered.

What I didn’t love: Now we come to the part why I *sigh* don’t have my MiMi anymore.  Settle in.  It’s quite a tale.

For Mother’s Day this year, I asked Husband for the MiMi and he readily agreed.  Sweet!  After waiting for it to come in the mail, I eagerly tore into it and plugged it in to charge.  However the charge indicator light blinked erratically (it’s supposed to blink, but not in the way that it was), and there was a quiet, but high pitched sound.  I tried to readjust the charger and everything else I could think of, but no luck.

I contacted the shop where I bought it, and they were kind enough to get a replacement out with no hassle on my part except sending back the defective MiMi at no cost to me.

I was ecstatic with the replacement, until it also showed itself to be defective only a few weeks after receiving it.  I again contacted the shop and this time was given a very, very hard choice: another replacement or a refund.

It was a very tough choice.  I loved my MiMi, but the thought of a third defective one had me more than spooked.  My time is limited and I didn’t want to have to go through going out of my way to the shipping center again to return another defective one.  I opted, with much trepidation, for the refund.

Final thought: Although I loved my MiMi and wanted to try other items in Je Joue’s line, this experience put me off a bit.  Even though the MiMi did have a year warranty (at the time of my purchase), it irritated me to have to jump through so many hoops to get a working one.  However, after talking with some other owners, some of which went through the same thing, I found they pretty much have this to say: “Sometimes you get a defective one, but you can always return it.  When you get a working one, it makes all the hassle worth it!”  Personally, I’m not ready to try again, but maybe in the future!
Update 7/17/13: I’m giving the MiMi another chance.  I really did love it, and I hear that Je Joue updates their items to fix past problems.  Fingers crossed for better luck!

Another update: Je Joue had sent me an additional MiMi, and I had much better luck with this one, and don’t have issues with it at all.