(Update at the end of post)
Have you seen sex blankets around? They are waterpoof or water resistant pads or throw blankets made for sex, because, well, sex is messy. Lubricants, fluids, and even female ejaculate make quite a mess. A fun mess, sure, but no one wants to sleep in the wet spot on the bed that showed up at 11:30pm on a Wednesday.
But many of those sex blankets are expensive, often $100+. I tried to find something I could use instead, but was woefully disappointed. Plastic mattress protectors aren’t particularly sexy. Reading the reviews for big, waterproof blankets hinted at the fact that they aren’t necessarily waterproof.
I thought to myself, well, I’m crafty. Seriously, folks, it’s amazing how many times I say that and end up just sewing something I love. I can probably just make one of my own design. And heyyyyy…I bet other people will want to know how to do it, too. So here it is, the tutorial I promised…
Waterproof Sex Blanket
No matter what size you intend on making your blanket, you can use these instructions for it, just adjust the size. The basic steps are the same. For simplicity for those not familiar with sewing, I’m going to tell you exactly what materials I used. Also, you can make this project by hand if you don’t have a sewing machine. If you do have a sewing machine, be aware that you will end up sewing through many, many layers by the time you are done. If your sewing machine won’t handle that kind of load, just stitch by hand.
You will basically need 3 things: a soft, comfortable upper layer (the side touching your skin), absorbent middle layers (cotton is good; you can even use old towels if you choose), and a waterproof bottom layer. I used double-sided minky fleece for my upper, several layers of birdseye cotton for my middle layer, and PUL (polyurethane laminate) for the bottom.
The following instructions make two blankets for a total cost of around $50, or about $25 a piece. The blankets will end up being roughly 28×34″, unless you end up having to trim them up more than once (like I did…when the layers moved on me…) In that case, they will be slightly smaller.
-1 yard of 60″ wide double sided minky fleece for the upper (or size and soft material of your choice)
-1 yard of 60″ wide PUL for the waterproof layer
-8 yards of 36″ wide birdseye cotton (this gives 4 layers per blanket), or absorbent layer of your choice
-Needles and coordinating thread.
Wash and dry your fabrics. Always wash and dry (following the care instructions) before you sew with them. Always. Press (iron flat) the cotton inner layer, but NOT the PUL or minky. A hot iron could damage them.
If you are using 60″ wide minky, cut it in half so you have two 30×36″ rectangles. If you are using doing a custom size, cut it to whatever size you wish, plus a few extra inches. Do the same for the PUL layer. [Note: The company I bought my PUL from had just a tiny bit left on their roll, so sent me a little extra, so I added an extra narrow strip. Yours won’t have that.]
Now you’re going to stack your layers. If they don’t match up exactly, don’t panic. We’ll trim them down in a minute. Stack your layers in this specific order (if making two blankets, you’ll do this twice, once for each blanket):
-Place the minky or upper fabric on your table, right side facing up.
-On top of the minky, put the PUL face down (the shiny side should be facing you).
-On top of the PUL, place your absorbent layer(s).
If you are not a sewer, I know that order doesn’t make sense. Trust me. It will make sense in a minute.
Pin your fabrics together so they don’t move. If your edges don’t quite line up (mine never do), go ahead and trim the edges so they line up.
[Note: You’ll see an extra, thin line of PUL on mine. That’s the remnants from the end of the bold from the store. Yours won’t have that. Pretend it’s not there.]
Sew all the layers together using a wide seam, but make sure you leave a few inches together unsewn. This will leave a hole on the side. We’ll use that gap to turn it right side out in a few minutes. If your sewing machine won’t handle all these layers, stitch by hand.
Trim down the edges on the outside of the lines you sewed so they aren’t so wide, but be careful not to hit your sewing line. This will make the seams less bulky.
Now we’re going to turn the blanket right side out. Find the hole you left open. Hold it open and arrange it so the minky (upper) side is in your right hand, and all the other layers are in your left (make sure the layers in your left hand stay together). With this hole you created with the minky on one side and the other layers on the other, turn it right side out (think like a pillow case).
Take a pencil, pen, crochet hook, or something long and thin with a blunt or round tip (no, I’m actually not making a sex joke), and use it to push the corners out from the inside. You’re going to have to put your hand in the hole for that. Also not a sex joke.
Now we’re going to topstitch. This is an optional step, but it helps hold the blanket layers together and makes it look nice. A topstitch is just a line of stitching on the top of the blanket. On this, it almost makes a ditch/gusset. Make sure you catch the hole you left to close it up.
If you aren’t doing a topstitch, make sure you at least go back and close the hole you made when you turned your blanket right side in.
And there you have it! Mine ended up roughly 24×30″. Why did they end up so small? Sadly, I didn’t pin my layers well enough and they shifted, leaving me to have to trim the edges back even again, causing me to lose a few inches.
But does it work? Yes! Of course we took our new sex blanket for a test drive, and it absolutely works. The minky is soft and sensual against skin, and the absorbent cotton and waterproof PUL keeps any fluids from leaking down onto the sheets.
So, that’s it! Any questions?
UPDATE: Some of my sex positive friends endeavored to come up with a great name for my sex blanket, since “sex blanket” doesn’t quite fit. Putting their brains and puns together, they came up with the Screwvet (rhymes with duvet). There you have it. Screwvet.